Peace and Joy: Special Patreon Release with Kay Wyma
“So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper];” Colossians 3:12 AMP
*Transcription Below*
Questions We Discuss:
Will you elaborate on this concept of a Soul30?
What were your favorite stories from this adventure?
How has this peace project changed the way you will live life from this point forward?
Kay Wyma is a mom, blogger, podcaster, and author of four books in which she has tackled, with candor and humor, some of the troubling societal issues that impact us all. Kay's writings have led her to appearances on TODAY, CNN, Hallmark's Home & Family, and more. Before staying at home with her kids, she held positions at the White House and Bank of America. She lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband and five kids. Connect with Kay at kaywyma.com or on Instagram @kaywyma.
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:09)
Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 2:47)
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
I want to say a huge thank you to today's sponsors for this episode, Chick-fil-A East Peoria, and Savvy Sauce Charities.
If this is your first time here, welcome! You may be wondering what it means to have a special Patreon release, so here's the scoop. Patreon was a platform we used to generate financial support for The Savvy Sauce, and we expressed our thanks to those paying patrons by giving them a bonus episode every month.
But in 2024, we transitioned away from Patreon when we became a non-profit called the Savvy Sauce Charities. The podcast is part of this non-profit, which exists to resource loved ones to inspire growth and intimacy with God and others. So, people used to pay to support us through Patreon, but now they can just donate directly to our non-profit.
We spend thousands of dollars each year to record and produce these episodes, and we do pray that they're beneficial and that God sees fit to use them to be transformational in your life. If that is the case, if you have ever benefited from an episode of The Savvy Sauce, would you consider showing your gratitude through your financial generosity? Any amount is greatly appreciated.
In fact, if every listener gave only $1 per month, it would completely offset our costs. We have all the details on our website, thesavvysauce.com, but feel free to also reach out to our team anytime if you want to partner together. Our email address is info@thesavvysauce.com.
And now I'm pleased to share this episode with you that used to only be available to paying patrons. Kay Wyma is my returning guest today. She is vibrant, and her curiosity sometimes leads to experiments in her life. Her most recent experiment turned into a book, and now she's going to let us in on three areas of focus that added peace and joy to her life. This process is based on Scripture and validated in science. Here's our chat.
Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Kay.
Kay Wyma: (2:48 - 2:52)
Thank you so much for having me. You're really sweet to put up with me again.
Laura Dugger: (2:53 - 3:07)
Well, it was a delight last time, and I'm excited for today as well. And I'm so fascinated by your history of different careers and roles you've had. So, will you tell us a little bit more about all that you've experienced professionally?
Kay Wyma: (3:08 - 5:44)
Oh my gosh, it's so funny, Laura, because people will read the bio as they could for any of us that are in our mid-50s, and I'm sitting there going, I'm exhausted listening to that. But the deal is that they didn't happen all at the same time, but I just had a really great opportunity to do some interesting stuff. And one of them, especially in my 20s, I got to work in the George Herbert Walker Bush, so 41 White House, and I was a lead advance for the vice president.
And so, I pretty much got to travel all over the country and a lot of very interesting places in the world during that period. And it was a blast. I got to set up the trips as they would go traveling to these places with the Secret Service and White House Communications. And it just was an amazing way, an opportunity to get to see the world. And then I went on to graduate school and got an MBA and ended up somehow in an international investment banking role, which is laughable because I cannot even help my children with fifth grade math. So, I don't know who that person was that did that.
But I used to be able to do things that way. I can't anymore. And then I had kids, which was such a blessing. I'd met my husband at graduate school when we got married after I'd finished my stint in the White House and had kids right off the bat. And during that time, I really did try to piggyback. That was back in the day when women were allowed to job share, and I just couldn't do it. The more kids that came, the harder it was. And so I stayed at home with my kids, started a couple of businesses here and there, and then found myself in the world of writing. And I didn't plan on it. I kind of say I was an accidental writer, but I don't think anything is really an accident. It's not something that I was educated to do. However, I loved it.
And I look back now and look at the great education that I had gotten and honestly how much I loved writing even as a child. I just didn't know that was something that you could do because back in that day there were, and I'm not that old, but there really were careers that were careers that you sort of went to that made sense from a sensible banking father. It's like, here are your choices for a degree plan. And so, I love how just even gravitating towards what you're gifting a purpose is, which we talked about before, it's just those things are in you, and it's fun to see how they will come out and how fun that it can even come out in a way where it's your vocation. And so here I sit as a writer, crazy.
Laura Dugger: (5:44 - 6:00)
Which is so great to hear the journey because you would think the math and the different skills required for international banking and then to become a successful author, that's so interesting. And this is so random and I could be wrong. Were your parents ever on Focus on the Family?
Kay Wyma: (6:01 - 6:54)
Well, they could have been. I have the greatest parents. I really do. They're so kind and they're just really terrific people. And so, they became friends, like they're friends with Dr. Dobson. And so, I don't know if they were. That's another really gift they gave us. You just do it in front of you and you don't really make a big deal about anything. And I love that. Everybody puts their pants on the same way, which is one thing I loved even about working at the White House because some of the stuff can look so glamorous and go. But the truth is, we're all just people. And the Lord has put in certain people's paths, things to do that could look really amazing and spectacular. But the amazing and spectacular is around you every single day, even if it might not have something. And for my kids would be like that have a million followers or that has gone viral. But they are there. I'm very blessed, Laura, with very nice parents.
Laura Dugger: (6:55 - 7:03)
Well, you've mentioned before that you battled an eating disorder growing up. Do you feel comfortable sharing a little bit more about that journey?
Kay Wyma: (7:04 - 8:39)
Absolutely. So, I definitely battled that. And again, I have a wonderful family that I grew up in, a home that I grew up in. But I also grew up in an environment where performance was a big deal, which it is today, too. So many kids are struggling with that. Oh, my gosh, so terribly. And whatever you're struggling with, because it could be for me, it was performance. And the way that I learned, the way that I coped with it was through eating and not eating. And a lot of just getting rid of the food that I had eaten.
And there just came a day when I was in college that thankfully the Lord, the Lord just showed me one night that this is not a good thing. So, I actually left that semester of college to get help. And it changed my life. I was telling one of the girls yesterday, my girls, how grateful I am for that because I had never really understood or even contemplated the concept of grace. I just didn't know that was something I'd heard it, but I didn't know what it was. And I didn't know a whole lot about my worth having been declared by God and my identity having been determined by him. And I will say at 55, I know a lot more about it than I did even then at 19 or 20, but it was going through that journey, asking for help, stopping what was hurting me and reaching for truth that put me on a road to actually learn a lot of just what it means when he says it is for freedom that I have set you free.
Laura Dugger: (8:40 - 9:00)
And the reason that I bring up the eating disorder is from a previous podcast. I can't remember which one, but elsewhere I'd heard you say that you stay away from the whole 30 diet, but you were intrigued one day to instead try a soul 30. So, will you share that story with us too?
Kay Wyma: (9:01 - 14:47)
I will. And I do, I have to tell you, I, since, since I was 20, I've steered clear of scales and I really do steer clear of diets for me because they don't do good things in my head. And so, one thing that I learned through all of that was that you, you can't change an environment. Often you can't change the environment that you're in, but you can change the way you operate within the environment. Biggest lesson that I learned through all of that, like, please hear that. It was so life altering as I stood going, I can't change this environment, but I can change how I interact with it.
Okay. And so, the whole 30, I do find intriguing, you know, because people, if you're going to do something physically, like to make your diet better, a lot of people do that. And so, for 30 days, they, they exit a ton out of their diet. I don't know everything about it because I am a big chicken. And I think they, if, if I was going to do it, the thing that would be the killer for me is not being able to have cream in your coffee. You know, it's like, that's a deal breaker for me right there.
But the soul 30 it all started one morning. Again, I think I told you on the last one that like, even the experiment with the putting the stuff, like helping the kids with independence started with my rotten attitude. Well, this started with the rotten attitude too. And we aren't always doing experiments in our house, but I just had this bad attitude one morning as I'd come home from carpool. I had women coming over to my house. I leave a Bible study that meets on Tuesdays. And I was just going to the refrigerator to get milk out to be able to serve coffee. And there were two jugs of milk in our fridge. I pull the first one out and it's empty. And I'm like, what? And the second one, I pull it out. It's empty too. Like maybe a drop in it. And quite frankly, I could have put it back going, well, there's a drop of milk in it, but I don't know why people do that. Like in our house, it could be the same with a cereal box. Like you pull the box out, there's nothing in it. And I'm like, just throw it away. Like, please.
And so I was frustrated. I get out into my car to go to the grocery store. And as I drive back out into the street, this big black pickup truck, literally like road routes its way into my face. And I was sort of like, really? And, and I didn't have a choice, but to back down because he was not going to let me go. And so as I started to back up, I looked up and I got to see this beautiful sun like peeking through this cloudy sky. And, and it was so beautiful. I was like, what am I doing? Like why am I in a crabby mood or frustrated by this? I'm in an air-conditioned car on my way to a grocery store where there are refrigerated items and there are people, somebody actually might say hello. Okay. Cause I go in there all the time and I was sort of like; everything is not bad.
And I started to breathe. And I didn't realize in that moment that I was, I was being thankful. Like I just, it just happened. And, and in that I really was breathing. And I like felt better inside of me. I back up and let the guy go legitimately, which again, I did not realize it in the moment, but it was an act of kindness. And I felt even better. And when he drove by, I looked in his window and I was sitting there going, I have, it was a human being first of all. And I recognize that. And just for a moment, I was like, I have no idea what's going on in his day. He could be raced into the hospital. He could be late for work. He could just, you know, be a jerky person and, and life as long as a jerky person. And, and I just was, I wasn't over spiritualizing or anything, but I prayed for him. I was like, please let whatever's going on in his day be okay. Because if he's that intense, something is not great.
And I drove to the grocery store, and I physically felt so good. It was like, like I had been given a joke Cola or something like I, Or some vitamin that was just a blast of energy. And it lasted. By the time ladies got over, I was like, you're gonna believe what happened this morning. It was so weird. And I told them about it the next week they came back and one of the ladies said, can you tell me again? What that story? And I was like, what story? And the lady next to her goes, Oh, I've been doing it. And I was like, doing what? And she goes, your thing. I was like, what is my thing? And she said, Oh, the thankfulness, kindness, and compassion. And as we talked about it again, I was sitting there going, is that something because it had deeply impacted this person that was trying it even for a week.
And I really sat there going, okay, we would do a whole 30 for a physical diet. Something in these practices is impacting the soul. And I was like, what if we tried a soul 30 and for 30 days, proactively practiced thankfulness, kindness, and mercy, because that's what compassion is a part of mercy. What would happen? And so it was sort of like, let's do it. And these very sweet friends were willing to try as were my kids. And so instead of like pulling something away, which is what a fast is that goes with a whole 30, we sort of switched it to this unbelievable soul feast that came with doing these things. It was unbelievable. The joy that came into everyone's life when they started doing this stuff. I mean, it was amazing. And so as I tracked it, I really did track it because I like to know why it was sort of like, why is this happening? What's going on? What is in these things that actually can impact your life at such a deep, deep level to where joy is invited in and peace.
Laura Dugger: (14:49 - 15:00)
And so, like you said, you focus on thankfulness, kindness, and mercy in this most recent book, The Peace Project, but will you define and give examples of each of those?
Kay Wyma: (15:01 - 19:08)
Yes. And I think that is such a great way to start because it's like, okay, what, what is it even on the soul 30? I was like, here's what you do. Okay. Here is what thankfulness says, because I went to look like, if I'm going to ask, please do these things, here's what they are. So, thankfulness is calling out things for which to be grateful. And for our family, for my kids, I was like, please let it not be the same thing every day. Although now a year and a half out, what difference does it make? It could be the same thing every day. But for them, I was like, don't let it be the same thing. And it can be more than one thing, because the thing with thankfulness, when you start it, it's like, it may take a little effort to go, what do I have to be thankful for? Especially in a situation that's unsettling, which is kind of like when that car drove up on me, that was an unsettling moment.
I was being forced down. And there's so much going on in that conversation that isn't spoken, which I think is important to call out in these things. So even as he's barreling up on me, it makes me feel unseen. It makes me feel like there's no, even though it's not spoken, that action brings with it. What thankfulness does is it instantly, it's like a wake up, like it's a focus shift. And so, and it tends to be looking up in some way, and it gets your eyes off of whatever the situation is. And it allows for truth to come in, which is where thankfulness goes, especially in the unsettling. Cause you can say, as I didn't mean to, but I did even in that moment, I am in an air-conditioned car. It is Texas in the summer, for goodness sake, that is a gift. And it's worth calling out. And there's always something for which to be grateful. So that's what thankfulness is.
Kindness is seeing and loving others. And let me tell you something, loving yourself too, because I've learned through this. We are harder on ourselves than we are on anybody else. So seeing and loving others and yourself in deed or action, this component is so significant because you're taking it. Thankfulness is in your thoughts. So you're walking through in your thoughts and you're doing these things. And kindness is where you're going that extra step. And you're actually putting action on it so that even in your mind, because I learned a lot about neural pathways and how our minds can be transformed by this, which is sort of where we started. If your physical health can be impacted by a diet, can my thought health be impacted by doing things that are good for it? And so kindness takes it from the thought to the action. And so even in that, you know, letting that car go, that is so small. And so kindness doesn't have to be moving a mountain. It can be tiny little things.
I've watched my neighbor one morning picking up newspapers and putting them on everybody's porch. And no one was seeing her do that. I accidentally did. And she even told me that day, you know, it's the small things because it is because when that person opens the door, the neighbor opens their door, they know that someone thought of them that day. Like it gives them, whether it's spoken or not, they get a sense of worth by going, I must matter. Somebody cared enough to put my newspaper on my front porch. Tiny, tiny things, as well as big things can be an act of kindness.
And then mercy, that's the showstopper. And it is a challenge and it is beautiful. And the definition of mercy is compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm. And again, including ourselves. And so as I started to peel back the layers on mercy, there's more and there's more and there's more. And another one of my favorite definitions of it was from a Jesuit priest whose name is James Keenan. And he called mercy the willingness to enter into someone else's chaos, which I actually found to be the most powerful because willingness plays a central role in this whole process because it actually is centered on our significance having been settled by the Lord.
Laura Dugger: (19:09 - 19:17)
What surprising discoveries did you make as you deliberately practiced each of these attitudes? And like you said, you partnered them with action steps.
Kay Wyma: (19:18 - 21:54)
Yeah, so I think for everybody, we just did a book club just finished last week, even here. And one of the gals said that she has been struggling terribly with anxiety and worry that stemmed a lot. They moved to Florida before the pandemic. And so, she was living in a new place, basically holed up in her house for a year and a half. And those things of worry and anxiety and fear had crept in and had become, you know, on repeat in her mind. And so just because she had signed up for the book club, came with a friend and she didn't really buy any of it because it doesn't matter whether you buy it or not because these things are not for me. Like that's the number one thing. They aren't mine. These really are woven within the greatest commandment. You know, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind is thankfulness. Your eyes are not on yourself. And love others as you love yourself. And he's not talking about a narcissistic love. He's like genuine caring for others and yourself. There's so much power in that, which includes kindness and mercy.
And so, she simply started doing the thankfulness. She was like, I don't know what the others are, but I know I can track being thankful. I can find a way to be thankful. And she came back after the first week and couldn't believe what it had done to her. Just in practicing thankfulness, which we know through science that there are benefits that occur in your brain just by doing that simple act. And it's clearly proven. You can just Google even the amount of thankfulness journals because it's so good for us. And if you write it down and look at it and see, you're using all these senses. And when you add the kindness and the mercy to it, it's so deeply impactful.
And so, I think the thing that probably surprised me the most is how consistent the piece is and how your neural pathways actually can change. You can actually have your superhighway and your thought process, because we have those ruts in our brain that are highly traveled paths that our thoughts go to. And they tend actually to be along the lines of anxiety or fear or worry, because that's been a part of your life since you were a little kid. And to be able to somehow transition those highest traveled pathways to something that involves kindness and mercy and thankfulness is so significant because your instant reaction is going to a place of peace instead of a place of anxiety. It's like where science meets scripture.
Laura Dugger: (21:54 - 27:25)
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You've already shared one piece of scripture that was impactful. Were there any other passages that especially seemed to come to life during this project?
Kay Wyma: (27:26 - 29:11)
Oh, yes, and they continue to, Laura, as is always the case with scripture. You know, it really is like, wow. But I love the take your thoughts captive and make them obedient to me, which can sound like it's something that I do, you know, that I'm going to have to make my thoughts obedient to him, but it's really the Lord's power that does that. And it's like these things, you know, I think we talked before about, he isn't doing something to us by saying do these things, it's for us. And it's because when you do these things, naturally it is going to set you free. And so, I love that.
I love in Isaiah where it says, “He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast in him.” And so when you feel that unsettledness, in that unsettledness, we can go to the places of worry or fear or anxiety, but what if in the unsettledness you can go to the one who says, I see you, who says you are known, who says you are a masterpiece, who says you belong because I chose you, who says, “I see you, you are mine.” And then go to those beautiful verses, even in Isaiah where he says, “you'll go through the water and they will not rise up over you and you will go through the fire, yet you will not be burned.” That's the truth because the one who says it is the one who protects us through all those things. And in the willingness aspect of this, it goes to this place where you're trusting what you can't see. And that is the one who has said these things over us to the point where I'm acting on it in places that can feel very scary. And leaning into his safety actually proves his safety over and over and over and over. And I think that's why the piece comes in.
Laura Dugger: (29:12 - 29:17)
Kay, you're such a great storyteller. So, do you have any favorite stories from this adventure?
Kay Wyma: (29:18 - 33:55)
There's a couple. So, it's like these practices rehumanize what so much around us has been dehumanizing because people aren't objects. People really matter. We like to compartmentalize everybody based on so many things, our race, our religion, the color of our hair, our vocation. I mean, you name it. And so, it kind of dehumanizes in that. And now we have this cancel culture, which is so weird. Like you could cancel a human being. And so, the rehumanizing comes in all of these practices. And it's so powerful.
So, we were even on our way to the grocery store. There was a person that needed to get over a couple of lanes. And so, I'm with one of my daughters and I was like, let's let that person over. And so, as we did, she crossed over in front of us and made it all the way over three more lanes to go right. I mean, she really was in the wrong place. And my daughter looks at me and said, I'm so glad we did that. And I was like, why? And she said, because if someone had done that for me, it would have made me feel like I was seen and that I had worth. And so, I've never, like that sticks in my head constantly. To be seen and to have worth is what we all need. And the tiniest little things can do that for us.
And so at that grocery store where we were going, a lady honked at me in the parking lot. Like I was walking and she just like blared on her horn, scared the living daylights out of me. And I was like, oh my gosh. But again, in that moment, I was like, wait a second. I can either have that, I'm either gonna fire up and be mad or I'm gonna be like, oh, I really am not seen. Either way, I'm going in a bad path or I can choose willingly to go, no. She's probably stressed out because she's not used to driving or maybe I scared her. She didn't see me. I don't know. And just reacts that way. And so, in that moment, I'm like letting it go, seeing her as a human being going in the grocery store.
And so, I go in, do my shopping. It's super packed in there. I go to the deli line, get my number, stand and wait and stand and wait. And as I'm waiting, who shows up next to me but the lady that honked at me, which if I hadn't let it go in the parking lot, I would have been like, oh, there's that lady in my head. But I wasn't. I was like, oh my gosh, there she is. And the guy calls my number and I feel her next to me and hear her sigh like, oh my gosh. And I look at her and she had forgotten to get her number. And the line was so long. And I was sitting there going, you know what? I've got margin in my day. And I took my number and handed it to her so happily. And she did what we all do. She refused it because kindness is risky. You may be rejected, okay? But again, if you're going into it willingly in the willingness that's based on your settled significance, that kind of rejection doesn't hurt because you're not rejected by the one who has called you by name. Not to over-spiritualize it.
But in that moment, I'm like, okay, no worries. But the deli guy is watching the whole thing. And so, I go to hand him the number and he looks at me and he serves her. And it was, I just can't even tell you how beautiful it was because she accepted it from him. I left because I was like, I don't want her feeling weird. I'm out of here and came back later. And it was so tiny and so beautiful. And it was like the greatest things of humanity were right there at the deli line in the grocery store. And I could tell you others, like even at the checkout, not on this occasion, but another one. Like what the checkers did to give grace to a woman who was so mean to them. And for them, like these two people to look at each other and go, man, she must be having a hard day and err on that. I mean, people are amazing. And it's like, dare we walk alongside each other? Dare we reach for the good? Dare we like just sink into the beauty of all that comes with things like your significance being eternally determined so that we can actually live in the freedom that surrounds you. All these opportunities that are around you every single day to be able to see the people and to treat the people next to you like human beings. It's really freeing and it's so beautiful. And it's a path paved with shalom peace. And it's amazing.
Laura Dugger: (33:56 - 34:22)
Okay, that story is so touching. And I think it's because it's so apparent that that was the Holy Spirit and Jesus in you being Jesus to someone else. Because in scripture, we do see that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. And I just wonder what the other side of the story is. Your act of willing obedience and kindness. I wonder how that impacted her in a positive way.
Kay Wyma: (34:23 - 35:31)
I don't know, but Laura, the coolest part is that I don't need to know. Like this is, again, through these things, that whole part exits. Like it doesn't matter at all. It's like that so much of the unseen is none of, I'll sit there and go, I can't believe he gave me something in that. Because the thing about any of these, when you give them out, it doesn't work like the world's economy where giving is actually a depletion. In God's economy, when you give, you're actually being filled. And so, it's like with a full tank, you walk away going, why did you allow me to be a part of that? Like, why would you have let me do that? Because I can't believe what you gave me through all of that. It's so amazing. Gosh, it just increases your capacity to trust exponentially. And so you have these little things like thankfulness that primes the pump. It's like, well, I'm going to get it going. And then the kindness. And then to be able to go to these places of mercy that involve very, very deep concepts like compassion, like forgiveness, like grace, like letting go of bitterness. These are aspects of God. They are not from us. It's like an invitation to experience God.
Laura Dugger: (35:31 - 35:38)
What are some other ways that this peace project has changed the way that you live your life from this point forward?
Kay Wyma: (35:39 - 37:30)
You know, almost with a spirit of expectancy and wonder and being able to see so many things that you haven't seen before. It's like it goes from black and white to technicolor. When I was in college, I actually had the opportunity to travel into West Berlin. This was a long time ago before the wall came down because there was the wall between East Berlin and West Berlin. But in order to get to West Berlin, you had to travel through East Germany. And it was so strange because literally on the train and everyone says this that did that back in those days, it was like you would go from colors to black and white. Like it was gray. They're literally the landscaped was gray. And then you would go from that gray into West Berlin that was like all colors and crazy and vibrant.
And that's what I feel like this does. It takes the gray and it makes it, the colors just come out spectacularly. And I think it is because you're choosing to not just believe, but you're acting on the belief which changes something which because you can't do that on your own strength. And so you're getting to experience this very mysterious aspect of God where he says, come to me, I will give you peace. I will give you joy. And I'm going to add that during this period, we probably lived through some of the hardest stuff that we have ever lived through in our life, just with very old past hurt that came and revisited in an extreme way. And it's amazing to me how full our days were on some of the hardest days we've ever experienced simply because these practices allowed us to look beyond and to live in peace and joy that paved even the hardest path.
Laura Dugger: (37:31 - 37:52)
Well, I think that points to our good God, even in his timing that he invited you into this and you were willing to step in. And like you've said, it wasn't just something he did to you, but he offered this for you. And even through a hard time, that was such a gift.
Kay Wyma: (37:53 - 39:32)
Yeah, which I could never have known that we would even be living that hard time when we started doing this. And it was definitely something that was given to us because I wasn't looking for it. Again, like I said, I had a rotten attitude when all this started and yet he met me there. Somebody said to me, how brilliant that you did this. Like, you know, you did thankfulness, then kindness, then mercy. And I was like, I did not do this. Like, I didn't make this up. This is what literally happened that morning. And for whatever reason, our curiosity was piqued and it was piqued enough to go, hey, you want to try? And what would happen?
And this, the book is the story of us trying and it really is a 30-day experiment where I go through the 30 days of like us doing it as a group and even include the group with these alongside call outs to where even the ladies that were doing it with us. And it was ladies just because it's a ladies Bible study. It doesn't mean that it's a woman thing or a guy, you know, not a guy thing. The consistency of, I can't believe how this has set me free. I didn't know I was entering into these places like this. I can't believe how healthy my mind is. You know, and again, people, if you have any issues with depression or that are deep that you need to get help, get help, please. You know, there is help out there. There are people that are gifted to be able to walk alongside us through very, very challenging situations which we were getting help along the way too. These practices will invite peace into your day on any day. I mean, just try it. Of course, I would love for people to get the book, but more than anything, just try it. I mean, these things are for you as much as they are for me.
Laura Dugger: (39:33 - 39:39)
And if someone is willing to give it a try, what suggestions do you have for them?
Kay Wyma: (39:39 - 41:53)
Yeah, it's so funny because I think when we hear like, oh, I have to do something for 30 days. I don't know about you, but I'm like, I can't add one more thing to my plate. And then I'm like 30 days. So, the first thing is just do it. Like just try it. And this is not something that you are going to have to give up anything or that it's going to be some burden or that you're gonna be trudging through just a hard journey. It will instantly be a gift to you. That's it. I still struggle with my rotten attitude going, no, it's really stubbornness that I'll go, oh, I'm not doing it. And then I'll think, what is wrong with you? You really know how great this is.
When the Lord was asked, what would you say is the greatest commandment? He instantly said, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love others as yourself for these sum up all the law and the prophets. That's a pretty big deal. And so why? Because it's so good for you because it gets our eyes off ourselves because it puts into action our effort to believe that what he says is true. The belief, I love you. I see you. I know you. You're safe. I'm provided for you. It's so powerful. I know that to be true.
One of the gals that was in our book club has an eight-year-old daughter that hilariously picked this book up because her mother was reading it. And she called it Kay's Peace Project. She does not know me. She was going into a soccer camp, you know, and it's hot. A little girl that's her friend was being mean to her every day. And so by the last day she was getting out of the car. And that week, you know, she didn't want to get out because she didn't want to deal with this friend of hers that was being mean to her. As she was getting out on Friday, she turned to her mom as she got out of the car and she said, you know, I picked up Kay's Peace Project last night. She had landed on a day about mercy. And she said, I read about mysterious mercy. And she said, it made me realize that something may be going on in her friend's life that she doesn't know. And so, she said, I've decided that that's probably why she's being mean to me. And so, I really want to be nice to her today because I don't know what it is that's going on in her life. Eight years old.
Laura Dugger: (41:54 - 42:07)
Wow. And that is so powerful. How it has the power to work in all of us. And so, if somebody wants to grab their own copy of The Peace Project or if they want to find you online, Kay, where would you direct them?
Kay Wyma: (42:08 - 42:49)
Well, to KayWyma.com or I do love Instagram, but I'm just telling you, it's set your expectations low, people. Because it is, anything I've got is for whoever would like to participate in it or alongside because I do love living life together. And I would love for anybody to join along in that on those platforms or even through the books. And it's just such a privilege. And I just can't thank you enough for having me on and for your listeners even giving me a few moments to even hear whatever is the Lord has put on my heart today. And please share what's on your hearts with the people that are next to you, too. It's worth it.
Laura Dugger: (42:50 - 43:04)
Well, it's been a joy to host you. And you probably remember from last time, we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, Kay, what is your savvy sauce?
Kay Wyma: (43:05 - 43:57)
Okay. So, for this project is settled significance. And it is the idea to live in your settled significance. You don't have to get significance from anything around you even though the world would tell you that we need to like in whatever capacity is is like ask the question, where am I thinking I have to do this in order to be okay? Because that's this if then equation of the world. If you do this, then blah, blah, blah, blah. Settled significant operates off God's economy that says, because then, because I have declared you righteous, you are seen, you are known, you are whole, you are loved, you are enough, you belong. And to be able to live in those things, we fight for that right now. We really do. And we try to call out those things that are telling us otherwise.
Laura Dugger: (43:58 - 44:15)
Well, Kay, thank you for fighting the good fight of faith and for sharing these practical ways to live out these biblical themes that really have eternal value of thankfulness and kindness and mercy. It has been a joy to host you as my guest.
Kay Wyma: (44:15 - 44:23)
Oh, my gosh. You're so nice to host me. Thank you so much. And thank you for what you do. You're a huge encouragement to people every day. So, thank you.
Laura Dugger: (44:23 - 47:39)
Thanks, Kay. One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.
Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.
We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.
That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.
This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.
Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.
Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.
And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.
First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.
And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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