Psalm 16:11 AMP “You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.”
*Transcription Below*
Jennifer Pepito is the host of the Restoration Home podcast and the bestselling author of Habits for a Sacred Home. Her latest book is The Inspired Home School: How History’s Heroes Light a Path Toward Joyful, Confident Learning. Jennifer is the founder of The Peaceful Press, a homeschool curriculum provider. Her writing has been featured in online and print journals, including Wild and Free, Commonplace Quarterly, and Home Educating Family. She’s made guest appearances on the podcasts 1000 Hours Outside, At Home with Sally, and The Read Aloud Revival. Jennifer lives in the mountains with her beloved family, where she enjoys reading aloud, working in her garden, and watching the sunset.
Jennifer’s Social Media
Website: thepeacefulpress.com
Instagram: @jenniferpepito
Facebook: @thepeacefulpress
Pinterest: @thepeacefulpress
Podcast: @restorationhome
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka
Questions and Topics We Cover:
As mothers, how can we create a home atmosphere that actually fosters character development and spiritual formation? (What are some examples of “practical skills” you taught your kids and what are the benefits of focusing on training in this area?)
What’s your most convincing argument for slowing down family life and reducing over-scheduling our lives?
What rhythms do you recommend we put in place for simplicity and slow living?
Other Related Savvy Sauce Episodes:
Making Family Memories with Jessica Smartt, Episode 103
Charlotte Mason Inspired Mini-Series: A Delectable Education with Emily Kiser, Episode 204
Benefits of Homeschooling with Jodi Mockabee, Episode 212
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:09)
Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:19)
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
The principles of honesty and integrity that Sam Leman founded his business on continue today, over 55 years later, at Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka. Owned and operated by the Bertschi family, Sam Leman and Eureka appreciates the support they've received from their customers all over central Illinois and beyond. Visit them today at LemanGM.com.
My guest for today is Jennifer Pepito. Jennifer is a homeschooling mother of seven. She is also the host of the Restoration Home podcast and an author of multiple books, including both of these. But the most recent is The Inspired Homeschool. And we're going to talk about that and many other parenting related topics today. Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Jennifer.
Jennifer Pepito: (1:19 - 1:23)
Thanks so much for having me, Laura. What an honor to get to chat with you today.
Laura Dugger: (1:24 - 1:38)
Well, you are mom extraordinaire, so I'd love to learn from you. What do you think are some universal ways that we can create connection with our tots, our teens and even our adult children?
Jennifer Pepito: (1:39 - 2:48)
You know, I think it is so much about presence and so simply about presence. And this is something I didn't always get right in my motherhood. It's so easy to be for me to be very task oriented and made it maybe to prioritize tasks that weren't as important as I thought they were. But in my life, some of the ways that we preserved presence and just a lot of love in our family is being really there. Whether it's going on a nature walk together or just sitting in the living room. Whether it's me joining my kids with the tasks that they're doing. But learning how to be just completely there in the moment. And, you know, in the Restoration Home community, we actually have presence habits that we're teaching moms.
Because for some of us, it isn't natural to slow down and connect. It is much more natural to be task oriented. And so for a month at a time, we will prioritize something like eye contact every day, giving your children eye contact or hugs every day, giving your children hugs. Because sometimes we do have to learn these habits of connection that then build on themselves and create a close and connected family.
Laura Dugger: (2:48 - 3:01)
I love that. And also as mothers, how can we create a home atmosphere that actually fosters character development and spiritual formation?
Jennifer Pepito: (3:02 - 4:03)
Yeah, that is a really good question as well. And I go back often to the principles of Charlotte Mason. She said education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life. And then at the end of her main 20 principles, she talks about how we should allow no separation to come up between our children and the Holy Spirit. And so for me in our homeschool, we really immersed Christian thought and worldview into every area of our education. We wanted our children to know how good God was and know how loving he was. And so there was always songs and stories that highlighted people of virtue and character and art that really turned our hearts towards God. So it was kind of everything that we did was working towards fostering that atmosphere of love, of hope, of peace. Sort of in my book, Habits for a Sacred Home, I would say like a consecrated home.
Laura Dugger: (4:04 - 4:25)
Well, and you've also talked about, I believe it's in the other book, The Inspired Homeschool, where you talk about practical skills that you've instilled in your children. And even you've done blog posts on this before. But can you give some examples of those practical skills that you and your husband wanted to train your children in and also why it matters?
Jennifer Pepito: (4:26 - 5:24)
Yeah, I love that question because, you know, I talked about how important it is to be present. But if you as the mom is doing all of the work in the home, it's really hard to be present. And as well, work like chores, joining in the work of the home, it's good for our children. It's good for their own sense of responsibility. It's good for them as adults to know how to create a beautiful home atmosphere. It's good for their motor skills. There are so many benefits to teaching our children how to help. And then what happens is you can be partners. Like in my home now, there are three young adult and teen children who still live at home. But we're, you know, I don't do more work than my kids in the home.
Like we all pitch in to do the dishes and make the food and do the laundry. And it's just, it's such a joy to be, you know, to have more time to enjoy them as people. Partly because I'm not doing all the work of caring for them at this point.
Laura Dugger: (5:25 - 6:02)
That makes sense. I feel like in our family, we can swing the pendulum. Sometimes we can get a little lazy, a little lax. And then all of a sudden family meeting and we need to come back together. We just had one of those recently where we needed to remind them of chores that needed to be done in the morning. So we have it all up on our whiteboard and they can come down and see. And really when you finish all of it, it probably takes less than 15 minutes. But our new phrase is win the morning and you win the day. It just makes everything more peaceful. And I like what you said. It actually frees us all up to have more time to connect with one another.
Jennifer Pepito: (6:02 - 7:36)
Yeah. And for those moms who are listening and feeling like, oh my gosh, I, I, my kids are not doing their chores. We just had a big discussion about this also in the restoration home community, because there was a mom who was asking like, when will my kids be responsible for their chores on their own? And some of the other wiser moms said, never like you, you really are going to have to remind them until they're gone. And I, and I appreciate that too, because sometimes I feel like, you know, I do, there are reminders I have to give. Like somebody will make their coffee and just leave the coffee cup by the sink. And I'm like, do you think there's a dishwasher fairy that comes along and loads it for you?
Like it's not, it doesn't work like that. And so it can be frustrating at any stage of parenting to feel like I taught this and why aren't they doing it? But there, there's just a lot of follow-up. Like as long as they're in your home, there will be follow-up. And I have seen, you know, my kids have, uh, I have several children who are adults now live in their own homes. And so I visited their homes and they're lovely. They are cared for. They are, they have plants. They're not, they're not filthy places. They are curated. My kids all have plants in their homes. That makes me so happy.
They have libraries, you know, and so the things you're doing, like while they live with you, they may never care for your home the way that you hope they will. But someday the standard that you set and the life that you lived and presented, they will carry into their own homes. And so, you know, it might be that you're always giving those reminders, but don't despair. Like it is making an impact on them and they will carry those values, that standard that you set into their own homes.
Laura Dugger: (7:36 - 8:07)
Well, that's so good. It's reminding me of something that you were quoting from Maria Montessori. It was in your chapter with Laura Ingalls Wilder. And do you remember this? Just about how dangerous it is for us to over function as mothers and do too much of the work. We think that that is loving them well, and we probably have a heart of service that we want to do this. But can you elaborate why that's actually maybe the opposite of what we should be doing?
Jennifer Pepito: (8:07 - 9:34)
Yeah, I think Maria Montessori says something along the lines that the child who does not do, does not know how to do and this is an act of servility towards them and it stifles their normal growth and development. And, you know, so constantly taking over things for our kids stifles them as, you know, it stifles a lot of things. It stifles their responsibility, but it also stifles their motor skills. Like if you're always putting their clothes away for them in the drawers, they're never developing the ability to open the drawers and put their things inside. Like there are a lot of skills in just the smallest of tasks that our children need for their future, for human development.
And, you know, as mothers we do have a responsibility to simplify some of those chores. Like, for instance, if you and your children are constantly fighting over the toys because they won't pick up after themselves, you need to pack up some of those toys. Like they don't need to have more toys than they can manage. That's just your bad. Like it's on you if they have too much to take care of. If you hate the clothes that they wear, if they constantly are putting on clothes and you're like, why are you wearing that shirt again? Get rid of it. Put it away. Like you don't have to have fights over things. Like this is your home. You have the ability to curate your home. And I'm not saying be cruel and get rid of your child's favorite stuffy.
I'm just saying if they can't care for their atmosphere, then get rid of the things that are interrupting or interfering with the atmosphere that you're trying to create.
Laura Dugger: (9:35 - 10:21)
That's so good because, again, that can go against our natural instinct as a mom, or at least mine. I don't love the discipline part. And it's so essential to still give them consequences because it's not about me. If I don't like it, that doesn't matter. This is about loving them well. And I think of Hebrews 12, 11, where no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. So for them, there is so much blessing. And I really appreciate you calling that out. And are there any other maybe unhealthy habits that we've maybe fallen into as mothers that you've seen that we need to pause to recognize and replace in our homes?
Jennifer Pepito: (10:22 - 14:38)
I think it's hard to discern what are the unhealthy habits in the moment. There was some times in my parenting where I wouldn't want to interrupt my kids. They were having fun. They were playing. They were being imaginative. And I didn't want to interrupt that, maybe to have them do the next thing or do a chore or something. And in retrospect, did it really matter? Did they learn how to do their chores? They did. And so I think there does take so much discernment that needs to be cultivated in our own prayer life. And you and I just recorded for my podcast and just talked about how in parenting, a lot of these things there isn't a direct manual for. Some children will respond better to a little bit more structure.
Some children, if you tell them no, they're going to start crying, and it's like a big deal. And so every child is so different. We have to be responsible to their personalities in some ways. And you look at Scripture, there are a lot of admonitions for us, especially in the letters from Paul to the churches. But there isn't actually an example of parenting that you can say, Oh, here's how a good parent behaves, and this is what we should do. Because in Scripture, there were often a good dad who was maybe a man after God's own heart but did some major sin, and then his child does some bigger sin, and then you have actually some really good kings who went back to the law and teach in the law, and then they have kids who are complete rebels.
And so it's hard in Scripture to see that this one set of behaviors equals this one set of children. And so for me, one of the conclusions I've had to come to, because we were very much in early parenting in this circle that says, If you do things this way, you'll get this outcome, and it's all about growing kids God's way. And so in early parenting, we had this belief that if we did certain things, we would get certain outcomes. But then you don't see it in Scripture, and so what I've had to come to is this conclusion that, first of all, we are responsible to obey God in training up our children. God says, Train up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and so we do it out of obedience to God.
It says, Don't provoke your children to wrath. We do that. It says, Love one another. There are commandments that we have as parents. Teach your children as you rise up, as you lie down, that we have to obey God and nurture our children because he's called us to do that. But what we don't have to do is wonder, Why me when something is going wrong? Or what did I do wrong? Because in early childhood, you might have a child who has some kind of sensory needs that makes them look like it brings up bad behaviors. Like we had a child with a sensory processing disorder and maybe an intellectual disorder. The jury is still out on what exactly her disability is.
But there were times when her behavior didn't look very good, and we were in this circle that was very much about early childhood, looking very cookie cutter and everyone looking people in the eyes and shaking hands and being polite, and this child had special needs. She really couldn't communicate that well, and her processing wasn't so great. And so, it didn't look like the picture that we were being told it should look like. And that was discouraging, and it was easy to be like, What mistakes have we made, and what did we do wrong, and what should we have done differently? And there I could think of maybe some medical choices we made that might have contributed.
But ultimately, we have to trust that the journey God has us on is the journey that he has for us. And so instead of constantly judging ourselves or our children for the ways that they are not coming up to the ideal, we have to put our hand in the Lord's hands and just walk with him on the walk. Just be obedient to him and trust the results to him, and that's painful sometimes as mothers. There can be so much disappointment when you feel like the hard work you're doing isn't paying off, and yet we are being obedient to God. He will reward those who are his good and faithful servants, and our children are his. We are not the potter. God is the potter.
Laura Dugger: (14:39 - 16:44)
So well said. We get the free will choice to be obedient, but he controls the outcome. We don't control the outcome. Unfortunately, yes. And now a brief message from our sponsor. Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka has been owned and operated by the Bertschi family for over 25 years. A lot has changed in the car business since Sam and Stephen's grandfather, Sam Leman, opened his first Chevrolet dealership over 55 years ago. If you visit their dealership today, though, you'll find that not everything has changed. They still operate their dealership like their grandfather did, with honesty and integrity. Sam and Stephen understand that you have many different choices in where you buy or service your vehicle.
This is why they do everything they can to make the car buying process as easy and hassle-free as possible. They are thankful for the many lasting friendships that began with a simple, Welcome to Sam Leman's. Their customers keep coming back because they experience something different. I've known Sam and Stephen and their wives my entire life, and I can vouch for their character and integrity, which makes it easy to highly recommend you check them out today. Your car buying process doesn't have to be something you dread, so come see for yourself at Sam Leman Chevrolet in Eureka. Sam and Stephen would love to see you, and they appreciate your business.
Learn more at their website or visit them on Facebook by searching for Sam Leman Eureka. You can also call them at 309-467-2351. Thanks for your sponsorship. And Jennifer, you do seem like a wise and faithful steward. You must have been entrusted well with little because you've been given much now, with seven children and a wonderful business and being an author of so many books. So, you have plenty on your plate, and yet you were able to prioritize outdoor time with your children. So how can outdoor time actually impact all of us health-wise, and why did you choose to prioritize it?
Jennifer Pepito: (16:45 - 18:18)
I love that question so much. And it does go back to the sacred home aspect of my vision for our family because when we are outside as a family, we are fully present with each other. Often the places that we go outside, we don't have Internet access, and so nobody's tempted to be on their phones. When we're outside and we're in nature together, I feel like we have an easier time hearing from God. So many of the good next ideas I have are on a camping trip or in some situation where I'm away from the distractions of the home that I'm caring for, of the business that I'm nurturing, the books I'm writing. When I'm away, we just connect better as a family.
So, it also, the prioritization of outdoor time, of being in nature together, also goes right back to the prioritization of our home as a school for the service of the Lord because we connect with God and we develop a sensibility towards Him when we're outside. One of my mottos for life is, Earth's crammed with heaven and every common bush of fire with God, but only he who sees takes off his shoes. It's excerpt from Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem, and I think this is part of what I really want my children to see and experience is the goodness of God in creation and for them to, throughout their lives, be developing that sensitivity towards God and that ability to see.
Laura Dugger: (18:19 - 18:44)
That's so good. And I think I've just been on a journey learning more about all that he provided in nature for our healing and pleasure and enjoyment, but just simple things that are free, getting that early morning sunlight or taking your shoes off and being barefoot on the ground, just thousands of systems literally in our body are reset just by enjoying some outdoor time.
Jennifer Pepito: (18:44 - 19:29)
It's so true. And I think so many people are dealing with nervous system dysregulation and attention deficit disorder. And I think that both of those, in large part, go back to our lives under LED lights on phones. And so, like you said, when we can get outside on the grass and our bare feet, one of my favorite things to do in the morning is make a cup of herbal tea from herbs that I just picked. Like in the early spring, I was picking lavender, lemon or orange blossoms and lemon balm and just pouring hot water over and drinking it like that. Standing out in the early morning sun is just such a peaceful time for our bodies. And then we're more discerning when we're taking that quiet time.
Laura Dugger: (19:30 - 19:54)
That's so good. That sounds dreamy. I love that routine. And for years, you were the podcast host of Wild and Free podcast. And now you have your own Restoration Home podcast. So, from years of interviewing people and just collecting so much wisdom, do you have maybe a handful of fun ideas or the wise tips that you've gathered from others over the years?
Jennifer Pepito: (19:55 - 21:48)
Oh, that's such a good question. And I've had so many favorite interviews. I think on the Restoration Home podcast, I interviewed John Eldredge and Chris Corsi separately. They're both authors. And they both talk a lot in this season about neuroscience and neurotheology and just the power of A, being with God to transform our view of life and our expectations of life and really to heal our trauma in so many ways. And then Chris Corsi talks a lot about habits of joy-filled people. And these are both guys. They're not mothers.
But I feel like those two concepts, one, of just prioritizing being with Jesus, being present with Jesus for the healing of our families and our souls, and two, the taking of our thoughts captive and beginning to just meditate on the goodness of God and meditate on what is good instead of constantly looking at what's not good, those two habits, in a sense, are transformative for all of motherhood. And there's so many details of motherhood. I've interviewed some wonderful homeschool authors and people like Sally Clarkson and Jenny Urich and Cindy Rollins, three real favorites. And I love their emphasis.
Cindy talks a lot about just learning to just kind of have more acceptance about your life and not so much self-judgment and judgment of others. And she's one of the people that first introduced me to that concept of our children being the clay but us not being the potter. And so, you know, there's so much wisdom that I have been fortunate enough to glean from interviews with these people. But I think, you know, those two, Chris Corsi, John Eldridge, are definitely standouts for some really deep transformative principles in our family.
Laura Dugger: (21:49 - 22:03)
Well, and you mentioned they spoke about habits and you're all about habits, have written a book on habits. And one of your habits is reading aloud. So, what role has reading aloud played in your family?
Jennifer Pepito: (22:04 - 24:55)
Such a good question, Laura. And, you know, my Peaceful Press curriculum is all based on reading aloud to your children and then doing Charlotte Mason activities such as narration or copywork or notebooking centered around what we're reading aloud. And there's a few different impacts that reading aloud has made on us. For one, as a family, it's absolutely increased our vocabulary, our knowledge base. Like, we know so much more about the world. We have such a wider vocabulary because of all the books we've read. And we have this experience. Reading aloud increases empathy. We have experienced life through the eyes of many different people and cultures and life experiences. And that's increased our empathy for each other and for the world.
And then just the Christian worldview that's developed in us because I was very particular about the books I chose. And I'm very aware of, you know, Marxist or even anti-God ideology that comes through a lot of modern books especially. You can look at, you know, a couple examples like the book The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom or even Man's Search for Meaning. Either of those books are books that deal with the Holocaust from the perspective of hope and of finding hidden meaning in life. Whereas the book Night by Elie Wiesel is a lot less redemptive in some sense. And that's a mild experience.
You know, I can even think of, like, the book Esperanza Rising is a book about kind of the Dust Bowl and somebody being a migrant worker in California. And so, it's actually a more modern book but it had a much more hopeful worldview than, say, a book like The Grapes of Wrath. And so, the books that we read, they all have a worldview. And whether it's a worldview that says that hard work will pay off and you can get ahead and God rewards those who are faithful. Like, that's a worldview. And then there's another worldview that says that people are always out to get you and bad things will happen to you no matter what and there is kind of no hope. That comes through in books that we read.
And so, I, in our life as a family, I was very careful to curate four books that had a more hopeful and redemptive worldview so that my children in adulthood would feel more hopeful about their lives. And I've seen them be very brave and get married and have families and buy homes and do what is in some ways countercultural because I think they do have more hope for the future because of the books we've read.
Laura Dugger: (24:56 - 25:07)
Okay, so if you were to go back and do it again, could you give us a handful, maybe like your 10 that first come to mind of the books that you would go back and you would do again if you were to parent all over again?
Jennifer Pepito: (25:08 - 26:29)
Oh, that's so easy. I mean, for one thing, 10 books, I would first add three series. The Little House on the Prairie series, so much resilience and love and just hard work and family working together. The Little Bridges series, which is less well-read but just as impactful for, you know, seeing how a young boy becomes a man and a virtuous man in so many ways. And then The Chronicles of Narnia, so many beautiful stories of faith and hope and virtue and heroism in The Chronicles of Narnia. So those three are definitely my top series that I would read aloud.
But all the books, you know, Mothering by the Book, I feature I think 10 different books like Shackleton's Endurance, Charlotte's Web, Little House on the Prairie, and Baby even, like the books, every single book that I include in Mothering by the Book would be on that list of favorite read aloud books. Another one that I have not yet written a book about, so someday I'll have to include it in a book, is Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. It was about a young boy who is indentured. He's an indentured servant and he just ends up becoming such a learner that he sets standards for navigation that are still in use for marine navigation today.
Laura Dugger: (26:31 - 26:42)
Wow, that sounds incredible. And you are such a reader. Are there maybe three to five books that have specifically impacted your life that you carried lessons on forward from those?
Jennifer Pepito: (26:44 - 28:10)
Yes, for sure. You know, and again, those ones are probably all included in Habits for a Sacred Home because books like Edith Schaeffer's The Hidden Art of Homemaking or even I think she wrote the book What is a Family? Reading about Elizabeth Elliot and other books has, you know, impacted me greatly as a mom. I've been reading Elizabeth Gouge in the last, you know, five or ten years and her books they're a lot more subtle. They were, and I actually feature her in the Inspired Home School when talking about ideas and presenting a feast of ideas to our children because her books are novels and yet she brings through some really big and beautiful ideas for a restoration home community this month.
We're reading the book The Bird in the Tree, which is part of a three-part trilogy on family life. And in the book, she is, there's a grandma in the book, basically, who emphasizes the importance of community in such a beautiful way that I think is transformative for our culture today. And so, I love how sometimes novels can even communicate ideas to us in bigger ways than often our, you know, just our nonfiction parenting books can convey, which is partly why I often refer to literature in my books.
Laura Dugger: (28:11 - 28:28)
Hmm. I love that. And you mentioned laying out this feast of ideas for our children. So, as parents, how can we seek out and then share those life-giving ideas to sharpen the minds, our own minds and the minds of our children?
Jennifer Pepito: (28:29 - 32:12)
Yeah. And this is, this is why I'm passionate about the Peaceful Press is I feel like so many families crowd out the ideas, the presentation of living ideas with busy work. And I understand this. It's based on a fear that we will miss a gap, that they will leave gaps or that we won't educate well or that we won't give our children all of the information they need to graduate. And so, we fill up their time with these tedious workbooks and, you know, textbooks. Like instead of reading aloud for history and talking about it and maybe making a timeline or doing some map work, we end up reading a history textbook that squeezes out any time that would be left to read fiction or nonfiction together, living books.
And so, we, you know, in the Peaceful Press, we have book lists and we have families read these books and then do maybe some projects or map work or timeline work centered on the books because you don't convey living ideas or worldview or virtue or empathy through a workbook. It's, you know, a text that says George Washington was the first president and he fought at the Battle of Valley Forge. Like that doesn't convey the, you know, the endurance that was that they were facing or it doesn't convey the ideas that shaped America. It doesn't convey anything except for facts and facts will not move your children's hearts and they won't stick either.
Like your child maybe will remember the name George Washington but they won't really remember much about his character or what motivated him through a textbook. And unfortunately, a lot of the modern textbooks don't even, they don't use, they use modern ideas instead of primary sources to convey ideas. So, for instance, you could read about Joan of Arc through Mark Twain's biography of her or Andrew Lang's children's biography of her and get the idea that she was a heroic woman who deeply loved Jesus and was listening to the Lord. Or you could read a modern bit of text about her that probably presents her more as a feminist who is in rebellion to her country or her family.
And so, you know, being careful like where you're getting ideas from and what you're conveying I think is so important because we are shaping a worldview and it's like I think there's a constant fight because you have people talking about a separation between church and state or you have people talking about not being nationalistic or things like that but there's always a worldview being conveyed and is it the worldview that you want?
Because even in, like, my son is in high school and he's doing a charter school class in California so he has a state textbook which it's, you know, most of the administrators and teachers at this school are Christians and I know that they are careful in the worldview they present but they still have to abide by California standards and so there's still a lot of, like, Marxist ideology that comes through.
I was looking at his economics textbook and it was talking about how the people of America wanted more government oversight and control and help and so that's why we have, like, so many government programs today and, I mean, that is probably true now but I'm not sure that it was true at the time or if it's really factual about the way our government is structured and so just understanding that everything that you present to your children, every bit of content has a worldview and sort of checking yours and theirs against what you want to present is important.
Laura Dugger: (32:12 - 32:26)
Hmm. Wise counsel. Well, Jennifer, what's your most convincing argument for why we are invited to slow down in family life and try to reduce our over-scheduled lives?
Jennifer Pepito: (32:27 - 35:03)
You know, probably the most convincing argument is thinking back to Scripture and it says, in His presence is fullness of joy not His right hand are pleasures forevermore and I think so often the things that we do as families that we think are going to maybe help our children be more successful in life or help them have a better start might not be as important as we think they are for their future especially in light of the way culture is changing but you will never lose by raising a child who is discerning of the will and the word and the voice of God because, you know, all wisdom comes from above and so if you want your child to be able to compete or be successful in the future in the modern world then really what you need to do is cultivate in them the ability to be discerning to be led by the Holy Spirit and that doesn't happen through being overly busy it happens through having quiet time and having time where you where you could be you know learning about God listening to God learning through Scripture so I think that there is a real imperative that we sort of examine the duties and obligations and daily commitments in light of what is really important in the future even looking at education because it's so easy as homeschoolers to feel like you know I want my children to go to college and so I'm going to make sure I do every single grade level thing that a big box publisher puts out and when you when you dial it back to like what does it take for success in college it takes knowing how to learn it takes knowing how to read and summarize content and having good you know math computation skills and some like science and math vocabulary and just the ability to learn because most of you know most of what you need to learn you can look it up on YouTube you can get some help with a calculator there's so many ways to learn but if you have squandered all that school time with like tedious workbooks that sort of over teach grammar concepts and I love grammar but you know over teach some of these concepts that could be taught just through reading aloud together and talking about books and giving your children some time and space to wonder and think their own thoughts and journal you you're squashing out you're squeezing out that time for perceiving God and listening to God and being led by the Holy Spirit and knowing the Word of God for stuff that in the long run probably isn't going to make that big of an impact on your child's future.
Laura Dugger: (35:04 - 36:12)
That's good and I love how you brought it to cultivating that hearing from the Lord and being in tune in step with the Holy Spirit not there's not a formula clearly but I feel like something that's worked well for us recently we've done quiet time with our children where we're reading Scripture or going through one of their Bible study books together so I think that's essential when they're younger and then you can continue on as long as you like but it's been really neat to see them take that on themselves and then come back and share because I think even cultivating the how to hear from the Holy Spirit it's maybe just a lot of practice and so my husband and I were chatting one night and decided this is something that we want to invest in we want to invest because it's an eternal investment so we've set aside some funds to have a basket full of different Bible study options or things that might interest them that are stirring their affections for the Lord and then at their whimsy they can grab whatever resonates with them so that's been a fun idea that I just wanted to share.
Jennifer Pepito: (36:12 - 36:40)
Yeah I love that and I think there is so much power in our home school morning time to cultivate our children's spiritual lives because as we're reading the Bible together and listening to music together and singing hymns together that is part of that cultivation and so families who skip morning time and go straight to like the subjects are missing out on this really big opportunity to teach your children as you rise up and as you lay down and as you walk on the way.
Laura Dugger: (36:41 - 37:01)
That's good and our audience some home school some public school some private school all across the board but I like that even I've heard other friends who do this more so at dinner time after they're all gathered at the table and then that's when they do kind of what you're saying this morning basket that's in the evening so we can get creative with timing.
Jennifer Pepito: (37:02 - 37:33)
Yes and you know Corey Ten Boom's family had a practice is that every meal the father would pick up the Bible and read a passage of scripture so even just something as simple as in the carpool lane as they get back in the car maybe having an audio song playing because they don't know if they want to talk at that season of their day anyhow and so maybe just having some audio Bible playing or some quiet Christian music playing could be one of those ways that you invest in them spiritually even in the midst of a very busy life.
Laura Dugger: (37:34 - 38:06)
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What rhythms do you recommend that we put into place for enjoying this simplicity or slower living lifestyle?
Jennifer Pepito: (38:06 - 39:16)
I think one of the things that I've been thinking thinking about your life in seasons you know like there might be a season where it works really well for your family to have weekend and evening sports and there might be another season where it works better to have those weekends free so you can do some explorations of family or hikes or things like that and so just sort of taking time each year maybe even each quarter to reflect on what's working how your children are responding to their life you know if your children if it seems like they're really thriving then you probably have a good rhythm going but if it seems like there's a lot more conflict or anxious behaviors then it might be that you need to dial back in some ways and so I think taking time to reflect you know in the restoration home community we we have a lot of conversation around what we want our children to remember about life in our home and then also we do you know every season we look at our daily lives and just sort of like take an audit of what we actually are doing during the day to see you know is our vision and our daily activities in alignment with each other.
Laura Dugger: (39:17 - 39:25)
And then also just regardless of school choice how can we maximize learning through everyday life together?
Jennifer Pepito: (39:26 - 40:29)
Yeah I think you know for those families whose children are in school like you know my son has been in a sort of a hybrid situation in high school where he's takes a couple classes a week and then he's home for part of the time but still making sure you're having those connection times whether it's reading a psalm together at bedtime or having a you know some some family outings that you're doing so that you don't just scatter because of lifestyle.
I think there's so much power in a in a connected family and a family that is thinking multi-generationally and I loved the book Legacy Life by David Green to talk about you know just really building a family legacy and so having those connection points I think is really important and I'm not sure when this will come out but you know over the summer there's so many opportunities for maybe you maybe you aren't a homeschool family but maybe over the summer instead of just letting it be a free-for-all you do read a chapter book aloud together a little bit every day or you do have some more family-centered field trips that you're doing.
Laura Dugger: (40:29 - 40:50)
I love that and that can apply to Christmas break or fall break or even weekends to be creative with that timing but Jennifer you're so humble in all of your resources to share all parts of your life so do you have any stories to share that illustrate something that you've learned even if it was through a mistake?
Jennifer Pepito: (40:51 - 43:09)
Yeah, that's such a good question and I you know we talked in the podcast that's out with you and I on Restoration Home about marriage and especially about intimacy and marriage and I think that if I could look back and think of like what mistake did I make? I mean it was it was really too much thinking about how unloved I was.
It was not disciplining my mind and and then that had a big impact all the way you know trickled down to everybody and so if I could have had a revelation of how loved I was by God earlier in my life I would have been more relaxed in my marriage I would have been more present with my kids I would have been less of a try hard you know just always trying to like perform in some sense to make sure that I was a good mom so I'd be approved of or make sure that I was a good homeschooler so I'd be approved of or you know whatever the the situation I was in that really cost me because there was some seasons where I just didn't connect with my kids enough and thank God you're never done like if you're listening to this and you have teenagers or kids who are already into the adult years and you're like oh it's too late I didn't connect to my kids and I don't have a good relationship right now it's never too late to repair and so even though I have regrets I've definitely gone to my kids and said I wish I could rewind the clock and just look at your Lego creations again I wish I could just have time again to enjoy you as a young child or as a you know a creative young boy and it's my sincere desire to not bring that kind of pain of not being present with you into your life will you forgive me and then following through with with really working on towards repair through taking your kids out to eat or going and helping them with their projects or being a good listener when they call there's so many ways that we can continue to connect and so I my biggest regrets are times when I wasn't present probably because I was trying to prove myself to somebody else and thankfully even into adulthood those mistakes are repairable
Laura Dugger: (43:09 - 43:30)
Oh you're so good at offering encouragement and grace and you're also very gifted with hospitality and you exercise that so how did you model hospitality to your children and what recommendations do you have for all of us to train our children up in the same way regardless of our phase of life
Jennifer Pepito: (43:31 - 45:06)
yeah you know it is Schaefer was a big example to me in that she wrote a book called Labrie which is about her and her husband's missionary adventure in Switzerland and one of the things that they did is they always hosted students so they always had people coming into their home and staying the night and she was feeding them like I just it's impressive to read about because we did we ran a missionary site for a little while where we would host families to come stay with us and it was so much work like all the beds that you had to be remade and all the food that you had to cook and all the meals you had to plan while we were also taking care of young children and you know I think that one of the things that I did the best thing I did during that season was when everybody would leave we would have a family meeting where we would just like all sit on the couches together and talk about how the weekend went and pray together and maybe even do a little like we would call it a shake-off prayer but just kind of a little like in the Bible it talks about when you leave a city shake the dust off your feet and we would kind of do like God I just thank you for the opportunity to host people and we ask you to send away any spiritual influences that are not ours and just we ask we plead the blood of Jesus over our home and so I think that that was you know a powerful thing that we did to sort of put up host a lot of different people of different walks of life and still have some sense of protection over our own family.
Laura Dugger: (45:07 - 45:20)
I love that shake-off prayer, and you've written about a rule of life. So, what is a rule of life and how can we actually write and live ours out?
Jennifer Pepito: (45:20 - 47:50)
Oh, I love that question. Of course. I mean, you know, I think most families have maybe an unwritten rule of life. Like if you're a Christian family, you might have some standards that are important to you. And so, my book habits for a sacred home is actually based on the rule of St. Benedict, which was a, you know, a formally written down guideline of rules for a monastic community. And this was, it was in like the early, early middle ages, basically. And, and so it was kind of like the world was a little bit in chaos and there was a lot of crazy stuff happening. And Benedict, St. Benedict set himself aside and sort of gathered a community of, of men.
And then there was a community of women that sprang up to cultivate Christian virtue and ethics despite the chaos and paganism in the world. And so, a rule of life for a family is just sort of a value statement or a, a set of guidelines that you can formalize with your children, you can review with your children, that helps you as a family develop a Christian worldview, Christian ethic. And I think it's even more important in the culture we live in now. Like we, in times past, we didn't have a and we didn't have and we didn't have you know, whether, whether our founding fathers were Christian or not, Western civilization was built on the Bible. It was built on biblical ethics.
And yet the more we move away from biblical ethics, the more messy culture is and the less linked we are to common biblical ethics. Like, you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you or honor your father and mother or don't steal, don't lie, don't, you know what I mean? Don't commit adultery. And so, there are all these, you know, Christian based ethics that sometimes we're having to discern for ourselves because they weren't modeled for us by our parents. There is sort of a sense of, in some ways, a free-for-all in culture. Like if you don't like your husband, just get divorced. If you don't enjoy your children, just put them in daycare and do your own thing.
Like there are so many ways that people are abdicating their roles and responsibility as Christian parents and even not teaching Christian ethics to our children. So, a rule of life is just a way of saying our home is a school for the service of the Lord, that was Saint Benedict's saying. And so, what are the values that we're going to work to pass on to our children in our home?
Laura Dugger: (47:51 - 48:30)
I love that. And your books talk about that, and it inspired us one night just at dinner just to ask all of our children at the time they were ranging in age from six to 12. We just said, what would you say is most important in our life, in our family? And I loved hearing the way that they articulated it and what they came up with. And it really was aligned with the way that we're attempting to live. And so, I do want to go a step further and write this down. And so, you're very inspirational in that. But there's so much more we could continue learning from you. Where would you like to direct us after this chat?
Jennifer Pepito: (48:31 - 49:09)
Yeah, if you go to thepeacefulpress.com, everything's linked there. You can get a free sample of our homeschool curriculum, my books, Habits for a Sacred Home, and Mothering by the Book are all linked there, as well as the podcast, the Restoration Home podcast. So that's a way to kind of get some free resources. I have a free Family Vision guide on that page. And even if you go to the habitsforsacredhome.com, that page has linked some bonuses that went along with the book. So, there's some really good family flourishing family resources that you could connect with at that page.
Laura Dugger: (49:09 - 49:27)
I love that. As always, we'll add the links in the show notes for today's episode. But Jennifer, you may be familiar. We're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Jennifer Pepito: (49:28 - 51:00)
Oh, I think, I think that probably my savvy sauce is being with Jesus in nature, like learning. You know, I was just we were speaking at a homeschool conference in Tennessee this weekend and we had an hour or so before our flight left. And so, I, we just went to this little park and sat on the grass by the water so I could see water in front of me, and I was sitting on the grass and I was doing some stretching. So, like the element of being in a restful place was taken care of. And then I just started talking to Jesus and inviting him to be close and even maybe give me some wisdom. It had been a busy weekend.
I was going into a busy season and in that moment, just even inviting Jesus to give me some discernment about the future, about what projects I was taking on. And I think, you know, for sure in my life, learning to be loved by the Lord, learning to believe the truth that he says about us in Scripture that we are loved, that we are chosen, that we are precious to him, that I've cultivated that confidence in a sense through those times with the Lord and listening to him that had been, you know, translated into all kinds of writing books and curriculum and speaking, things like that. And just really even being able to enjoy and be present with my children, all of that has been an outflow of taking time, usually in nature, to be with Jesus.
Laura Dugger: (51:01 - 51:31)
Well, and we're grateful to have recipients of the overflow. And I would say two words that come to mind. You are gifted. You are so creative with all that the Lord has gifted you with, with these ideas and your skill set to write and to speak and to create content, but also you're a giver and you have so much goodness to share so much of that wisdom that you brought to us today. So, I just want to say thank you, Jennifer, for being my guest.
Jennifer Pepito: (51:31 - 51:40)
Oh, Laura, you're so kind. You're such a wonderful host, such a generous, kind, and encouraging host. I'm honored to have this opportunity to chat with you today.
Laura Dugger: (51:41 - 55:25)
Well, thank you.
One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.
Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.
We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.
That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.
This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.
Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.
Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.
And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.
First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.
And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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