Titus 3:1 (AMP) “Remind people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good,"

*Transcription Below*

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband and Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Dr. Gary Chapman).

Arlene has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. She writes regularly for Proverbs 31 Ministries and Girlfriends in God. Arlene earned her BA from Biola University and her Masters in Journalism from Regent University. Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy. To learn more, visit www.ArlenePellicane.com

Arlene Pellicane's Website

Arlene Pellicane's Podcast

Books by Arlene Pellicane:

Parents Rising

31 Days to a Happy Husband

31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife

31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom

31 Days to a Younger You

Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life

Growing up Social by Dr. Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane

Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online h ere)

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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

*Transcription*

Music: (0:00 – 0:08)

Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:53) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.

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I'm thrilled to welcome back author and speaker Arlene Pellicane. In her warm and welcoming way, she's going to share about parenting from a biblical perspective and give us practical steps to take to ensure as parents, we are leaders of the home and not followers of our children.

Here's our chat.

Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Arlene.

Arlene Pellicane: (1:54 - 1:55) It's great to be with you again. How fun.

Laura Dugger: (1:55 - 2:02) Well, in case our friends listening didn't hear your first episode, can you just catch us up on who you are and what you do?

Arlene Pellicane: (2:03 - 2:30) Sure. We talked about growing up social, raising relational kids in a screen-driven world. So, I just try to help families get a hold of that technology, so it doesn't take over your house. And so, I speak and write books. My books include 31 Days to a Happy Husband, Growing Up Social, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom. I have three kids. My husband, James, and I have been married for 21 years. And our kids are now in high school, junior high, and elementary school. And they go boy, girl, girl.

Laura Dugger: (2:31 - 2:39) And let's even go one step further and go back a little bit in your history. What type of home were you raised in?

Arlene Pellicane: (2:41 - 3:25) I am an only child. So, my husband would say he's the last of four that I was raised in a very spoiled home. That's what he would say. So, I was the only child. I had cousins who lived in the same neighborhood. So that was really nice. So I never felt lonely. And apparently I didn't ask my parents for a sibling. So, they were like, okay, we're happy with one. We'll just keep it this way. And so, I had cousins that were very close in age to me in the neighborhood that I played with. And so, I had a very happy childhood and a good childhood. I will say my sweet mom, she's so funny. She's super social. She just loves people. So, I was always the kid that was waiting on the curb like, please, mom, come pick me up. Because she was probably talking to someone and couldn't get me soon enough.

Laura Dugger: (3:26 - 3:34) That's amazing. Have you carried on that style now that you're raising your own family? Or have you chosen to do some things differently?

Arlene Pellicane: (3:34 - 4:50) I think a lot of the ways I parent are very much like how my mom and dad were. My mom and dad were very open, very relational, talking, hugging, and involved in what I did. I was a cheerleader. And if I came home, she'd be awake with hot chocolate at midnight after a game. Or something like that. So, I think that idea of being relational. And there were rules and there were boundaries. But it was a very relational home. I think we definitely have that. And my home was very joyful. And we try to make our home very joyful. So probably the most distinctive difference is the way we handle chores and just being tougher. My mom and dad and I were caterers. Like, oh, if you need something, we'll do that for you. Where my husband is like, uh-uh. You can do that yourself. And I think that's good. Because the first time I did laundry was in college. I mean, that's pretty late. I remember being in college and thinking, what in the world do I do with this quarter and this laundry? I have no idea. And so, my husband has helped us to instill that the kids, you know, as soon as, like, my youngest is in fifth grade. But even by second or third grade, she was doing her own laundry. So, I think that's good. My husband has helped us to see that learning how to do chores at a young age is a positive thing.

Laura Dugger: (4:50 - 5:14) I think it's just so interesting to hear because we all have a different approach. So I love hearing both of those stories. And now you're also a working mom. And I know that some of our listeners have mentioned how grateful they are to hear from fellow Christians who have chosen to work while also raising their children. So, has this been natural for you or was it a struggle at times?

Arlene Pellicane: (5:15 - 6:18) Yeah. And I have to say, you know, I am a working mom with a lot of flexibility because I speak and I write. But my schedule is at home, and I am my own boss. So, I can say to myself, oh, let's go to the field trip. You know, I can do those kinds of things where I know many moms who are working these overnight shifts and they are crazy busy. And so, in that sense, I feel like if I say, oh, it's been easy, you know, it's been OK, that's kind of why. Because I haven't been forced to do these crazy hours. So, if you are listening right now and you're like, I am so sleepy because I've been working so hard, my heart goes goes to you. So, this has been a wonderful mix just for me personally, because I have the flexibility to be available for my kids. But it gives me a purpose that's outside of my children that I really enjoy. And it's kind of cool because since I write about marriage and the family and parenting, it keeps me in my space. So, I'm kind of constantly getting to have stories for my own work. So it's it's been quite ideal. I love it.

Laura Dugger: (6:19 - 6:26) So is there any scripture or clarity from the Lord that helped affirm you in both of those roles?

Arlene Pellicane: (6:27 - 7:36) Yeah, you know, I think of Proverbs three of trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. And so, as we're trusting in God, not leaning on our understanding and we're seeing like he will make your path straight. And so, I have seen that over and over and over again to simply trust. And it really is, you know, for me, it's being a speaker and an author. And I know some of you who are listening, that's something that you desire to do. But whether it's that or something else, you know, we live in a culture where you're supposed to be a celebrity, like you're supposed to amass numbers and have platforms and do all these things. And I think when you get to the point where it's like, you know, I want influence, I want impact, I want to help people. But I don't care if I help them with two followers or with 16, you know what I mean? Like not being into all those kinds of things. And I think when we turn our hearts to saying with our work, God, let your will be done in this. God be magnified in this Lord, just whatever I can do, multiply it. God will do that and be obedient that that's what's most important, not necessarily the Instagram followers, etc. So set your heart on God and the other things will fall into place.

Laura Dugger: (7:36 - 7:46) And like you said, in your work, you do write about family and parenting. So how can parents lead the home rather than children?

Arlene Pellicane: (7:47 - 10:36) This is so important, right? And it used to be that the home of yesterday might have been like, children are seen but not heard. But today it's backward. It's like parents are seen but not heard. It's like people talking are the children. And so, watch your language. You know, how do you talk to your children? Do you talk in a way that is like a leader or are you asking them questions all the time? So, I notice this about myself. So, for instance, that after you say something, you would say, okay, like, it's time to go come to dinner. Okay. Like it's a question, right? Not an instruction. Or why don't you wear this shirt? Okay. So, we, especially as moms, do this all the time. And if we don't tack the word, okay, on our voices still go up. Like we'll say, why don't you pick that one? Isn't that a good idea? Like we're constantly like our voices go up in the question. So, part of leadership is even just listening to yourself. How am I communicating? And I love what John Roseman, the psychologist says is communicate your instruction using the least amount of words possible. So, it's go to the car.

That's a leader, right? You're just telling your child, go to the car. But we say, okay, it's time to go to grandma's house. And you know, we don't want to be late. So, let's start zipping up your jacket and let's go. Okay, it's time to go. Are you not ready to go? Get your shoes on. Okay, you got your shoes. That's so good. You got your shoes. Get in the car. Right? So, it's like all we need to say was get in the car. So, I love that. So just even assess how do you communicate to your children? Because your children are hearing all these things. And so, they just hear like this lovely paragraph. They missed go to the car. So, assess how you talk. Use fewer words. Don't make everything a question. And all of this, of course, stems from the idea, the realization that, wait a minute, I'm the leader in the home, not my child. So many people will say, well, my child won't let me do that. Right? Like we ride bikes in our neighborhood. And my son, when he was in second grade, had a really bad accident involving him and a truck. And went to the hospital and was fine because of the grace of God and because he was wearing a helmet. And so, we'll see kids in the neighborhood without helmets. And my husband said to the dad, “You know, just last week, my son was hit by a car on this very street. It's really important that your kids wear a helmet. And the father said, oh, I just can't get my kids to do it. So, this is the problem of, wait, who is the leader here? Is the child the leader or is the parent the leader? So, you've got to see, first of all, in scripture, it is children obey your parents and not the other way around. So, we've got to just embrace that with all of our heart.

Laura Dugger: (10:37 - 11:06) That's amazing to even hear you say that, because this morning this verse just jumped off the page at me. And it's in Titus 3, verse 1. And I'm reading out of the Amplified Version. And it says, remind people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good. That just struck me for parenting. Like you're saying, it is biblical and it's important for us to lead.

Arlene Pellicane: (11:07 - 11:49) And wow, if your kids cannot learn from you, right, if in their own home they don't have that sense of, oh, there's this healthy authority over me and I do what they say. Like if they don't have that, then look at them as they grow up. They're going to have trouble with their relationship with God. It's like, oh, God commands us to do a lot of things. And like Mary, we could say, let it be to me according to your word. I am your servant. Or like the modern person, we could be like, no way. Who are you to tell me what to do, right? So that authority, if they can get that from you as a parent, that's going to help them with their spouse, with their employer, with a police officer, with a teacher, with God. It just helps them in all those relationships.

Laura Dugger: (11:50 - 12:03) And I'm so grateful for people like you who are writing parenting books. And so, I want to know, how did you arrive at your eight strategies in one of your recent books titled Parents Rising?

Arlene Pellicane: (12:04 - 12:59) Yeah, a lot of it was what I was observing. Like what was I seeing with my children, with their friends in the elementary school, et cetera, our pediatrician and talking to other doctors, asking them like, what are you seeing? Because something my pediatrician said really struck me. She's like, Arlene, a lot of times I'm not talking about physical things anymore. Like this is a pediatrician, right? It's not so much about shots and growth and all this. It's how can I manage my child? They're so emotional. They're under distress. They have anxiety. They're on video games all the time. So just listening to what she was saying of what are parents coming to her and saying, this is my problem, you know, and she's been a pediatrician for 25 years and has talked about, wow, in the last 10 years, all these problems because of technology, they're just enormous. So, listening to people's input led to these eight strategies.

Laura Dugger: (13:01 - 13:07) And you don't have to go through all of them, but could you at least touch on a few of these strategies and elaborate?

Arlene Pellicane: (13:07 - 16:59) Sure. You know, you can listen to our Growing Up Social one that we did to talk about this first strategy, which is amusement is not the highest priority. But what I'll say about that is as parents, you are not the cruise director. It is not your job to make everything fun from A to Z. Now you can do that on occasion. That's good. You want to have fun. So don't get me wrong. Have fun. But you're more like a trainer, a coach. And so, a lot of times we'll just give all the technology so our kids can be amused, but your kids don't need amusement. They need character. So, they need to be building character in your home. So put amusement in its proper place so character can take shape. And that's going to be your first strategy. But I'll say a few things about strategy number four, which is the Bible and prayer are present daily. And it's just the idea that when kids see that you have a real faith, that it's not like, oh, I go to church on Sunday, but then every other day of the week I kind of look like any other home in this neighborhood. You know, like we watch the same things as our secular neighbor does. We cuss sometimes. We spend our money on stuff we don't really tithe. And again, not a guilt trip, but I'm just saying when kids see that, oh, this doesn't make this huge difference in your life. Then when they're older, it's much easier for them to stray away from that faith because it's not strongly in them. But when they see like, oh, my mom and dad, they're not perfect, but they seek God. And when they make a mistake, they ask for forgiveness of me. And when I see them get money, they give it to the missionary. And when we have extra time, we try to serve other people or invite people to church. So those kinds of things. So not just like, oh, we attend church and we're good people. But when kids see, oh, my mom's faith is real. My dad's faith is real. That's going to make an impact on them. And that's going to help them to make that decision for themselves. So, make sure that that's something that's daily. And then for prayer, I will be the first to say, I want this amazing prayer life. But just like anyone else, I can go to bed and say, oh, my word, I didn't even pray today. So, one thing that's really helped me is Moms in Prayer. And that is an international organization. And the total mission is two praying moms for every school. So that there would be two moms that would gather. And obviously there can be more to pray for their children by name and to pray for their school by name. And I started joining one of these when my son Ethan was in first grade. And now he is in 10th. And I can see such a huge difference in how God has moved in my children, in their friendships, in their school. Because every week while school's in session, I am praying with another woman for my kids by name. Like it is amazing. And I remember the very first week I did this, I joined a church group that had like one lady had college age kids. And one lady had grandkids. So, it was a really diverse group. I had the youngest kids. And we prayed. And we prayed that my son would make a Christian friend. Because we're a public school. And the very next day my son Ethan said, Mom, I was in the playground, and I heard a boy singing. And Mom, he's a Christian. And Mom, he's in my class. And I was like, Ethan, I just prayed with the moms just yesterday that you would find a Christian friend. And it's amazing. That was first grade. And just about a month ago we had that same boy over for breakfast. And I told him that story. And it was so funny. Like see how God works. So, he and my son are not close friends. They have become acquaintances over the years. But we were able to have him over. And to be able to say that story, like you can see the boys lit up like, wow, this prayer thing really works. And so, if your kids can see that the Bible and prayer is part of your normal rhythm, that you care about it, that's going to make a huge difference in their spiritual lives.

Laura Dugger: (17:00 - 22:33) I would echo all of that. I think that life with Jesus is the most exciting type of life. And that's so great to hear how you incorporated it with your kids and let them in on that process.

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Now, back to the show.

Arlene Pellicane: (22:34 - 24:31) Another strategy number seven is love is spelled T-I-M-E, love is spelled time. It's that idea that yes, you can have quality time, but if you are not together all week and you have a half an hour of quality time only, that's not enough. You need to work on the quantity time as well. And again, one of the huge stealers is being on your phone, whether it's us, whether it's our kids. They did a survey of 6,000 kids all around the world and asked what's your parent's worst habit and 50% of them said my parent is on the phone and 34% of those people said and when we're talking in conversation, my parent will interrupt, like they will take a text while we're talking and that really bothers me. So, this idea of love is spelled T-I-M-E with time, just remember that when you're with your child, you need to have moments where there are no devices present. This doesn't mean that from the moment your child gets home from school to the moment they go to bed, you need to be staring at them and doing something. No, that's not practical. Like you have to make dinner. You have to pay your bills. We get that. But in the time in between those things, make sure there's time where maybe you're reading together. We just recently got a pool table, so we're playing pool together now. So have things in place, whether it's a frisbee or a ball, a chess game, a puzzle, where there is time that it's a regular rhythm to connect with your child, spend time together and it doesn't have to be this serious chat. You know, boys don't want to sit across the table with their mothers and have a serious chat, but a boy will play Nerf Gun Wars with you. So, like have activities so you're spending time together because in that shared activity, that's when there's an opportunity for that child to tell you something that maybe is on their heart, it's on their mind, because now there's a space to tell you. So, make sure that you are spending time with your kids.

Laura Dugger: (24:32 - 24:38) Wow. Is there anything else that we haven't covered yet in our time together that you want to make sure we hear?

Arlene Pellicane: (24:38 - 26:42) There are two thoughts I have. One is when you're spending that time together, research has shown that even having a phone present, so you're not touching it, it's just on the table. Like right now my phone is two feet away from me on my desk. So just having it there dilutes the conversation because they found that when people talk without it present, they feel more connected, like nothing is standing in the way between us. But when the phone is there, they know that at any moment that phone might ring, that phone might make a noise and my attention will be diverted and it dilutes the conversation. So, make sure your phones are completely not present when you are having that face-to-face time with your kids. And then the last thing I want to say is just have that mindset of strategy number eight, which is I am launching an adult, I am not babying a child. And men tend to be pretty good at this. And again, this is a generality, but women, we're more like, oh, like let me do it for you. So it's okay to let your kids grow up. And one thing my pastor says that I like very much is never do something for your child that your child can do on their own. So, something I love to do with my kids is I love to trim their nails, right? So, they're in elementary school, I'm trimming their nails, I'm trimming their nails. And my husband James would be like, honey, like they're in third, fourth grade, they can trim their own nails. And I'm like, the pinky, very tricky, the thumb, very difficult, you know? And so finally, I got to the point where it's like, okay, you know, Lucy, that's my youngest, you are responsible now for trimming your own nails and I won't do it anymore. But it's funny, like I would sneak around the house like when my husband wasn't watching and trim her nails because I just felt like I do a better job of this. And so, as moms, we need to realize someday our kids will go out of our house and they need to be able to trim their own nails. So mama, you just got to back down. So, a lot of times it's we as moms that have to back away and say, you know what? I need to let them do this on their own because they are an adult and they're going to need this skill very soon.

Laura Dugger: (26:42 - 26:49) Okay, so it's don't ever do for your child what they can do for themselves. Is that the saying?

Arlene Pellicane: (26:49 - 26:50) Yes, that's the saying.

Laura Dugger: (26:51 - 26:56) Arlene, if people want to connect further, where can listeners find you online?

Arlene Pellicane: (26:57 - 27:22) They can find me on ArlenePellicane.com and I actually have a video series that goes with this book, Parents Rising, and I've designed it for a small group or for personal use so that each message is about 20 minutes long so you could watch the message and then you could have a discussion group with moms or with parents or by yourself. And so that's at ArlenePellicane.com and you can also find me on Instagram, Facebook and my podcast is called The Happy Home Podcast.

Laura Dugger: (27:23 - 27:41) Fantastic. We will link to all of these in our show notes and on our resources page of our website. We are called the Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. And so today, Arlene, we would love to know what is your savvy sauce?

Arlene Pellicane: (27:42 - 28:49) So my savvy sauce has to do with someone you have interviewed in the past, Clifford and Joyce Penner, and I interviewed them for my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and they talked about the 5 to 30 second kiss, the 5 to 30 second daily kiss to keep the pilot light lit between you and your spouse. So that is my savvy sauce is attempting the 5 to 30 second kiss every day. And I will tell you, you know, even I'm the author, ooh, I've been married 21 years. Wow, like we still have trouble with this so much so that my husband has literally printed out a page, put it on the refrigerator, and we put an X on every day that we do this. So, whenever we realize, well, we are not kissing regularly anymore, the chart goes up on the refrigerator and we start making Xs. And it was so funny because my daughter, my youngest, had asked like, what's that chart for? And she asked me in such a moment that I wasn't ready to make up a funny story about it. So, I just said, oh, it's a kissing chart for daddy and I. And she's just like, what? So that's our savvy sauce, the attempt of the 5 to 30 second kiss every day.

Laura Dugger: (28:49 - 28:58) I love your savvy sauce. And Arlene, it is always such a pleasure to get to spend time with you and learn from you. Thank you for being my guest.

Arlene Pellicane: (28:59 - 29:01) It's been my pleasure. It's been so fun. Thanks for having me.

Laura Dugger: (29:02 - 32:44) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.

Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.

We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.

That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.

This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.

Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.

Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.

And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.

First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.

You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.

We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.

And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.

And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce

Practical chats for intentional living

A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.

They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!