*Disclaimer* This episode is not intended for little ears.

Philippians 4:5 AMP "Let your gentle spirit [your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience] be known to all people. The Lord is near."

* Transcription Below*

Questions We Discuss:

Will you share your story?
How did you process through your own journey of bitterness and eventually forgiveness?
What encouragement do you want to share with the spouse who is currently married to someone who deals with sexual addiction?

Jennifer Roush is the Executive Director of the SperaVita Institute. Her organization trains pregnancy centers around the nation and internationally, helping them reach their full potential and effectively serve women at highest risk for abortion. She has also been a leader in women’s ministry for over 18 years. Jennifer is the woman to talk to if you are feeling shame and don't see a way forward in any area of your life. Her disarming belief that there is "no pit so deep, that God is not deeper still" empowers people to see beyond their present circumstances and create strategy for the future. She has spoken at many different events and ministries including Focus on the Family and Breaking the Veil of Silence. Jennifer and her husband, Troy, have four beautiful daughters.

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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

*Transcription*

[00:00:00] <music>

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.

Laura Dugger: I am thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, Winshape Marriage. Their weekend retreats will strengthen your marriage, and you will enjoy this gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at Winshapemarriage.org. That's Winshapemarriage.org. Thanks for your sponsorship.

Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.

My guest today is Jennifer Roush. She has walked through incredibly difficult circumstances, and she's going to share her story and how the Lord remained close to her and gently healed her through her painful process of discovering her husband's secret sexual addiction.

Here's our chat. [00:01:18]

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Jennifer.

Jennifer Roush: Thank you so much for having me. Well, I love having a little bit of context for my guests, so will you first just give us a brief overview of where you're from and how you grew up?

Jennifer Roush: Sure. I grew up in central Nebraska. My father is a pastor, so I grew up in a Christian home. I have one younger sister, three years younger than me. I really had a great upbringing. You know, I grew up with a real childlike faith in God, just knowing that Jesus loved me, that He died on the cross not only to forgive me of my sins, but also He rose again so that I could be with Him in eternity and have a relationship with him now here on earth. So I had a great upbringing.

Laura Dugger: I remember hearing your marriage testimony probably about 15 years ago, and it's always stuck with me. Will you share that story with us now? [00:02:23]

Jennifer Roush: Sure. So I grew up in a Christian home, and when I was in middle school, we moved to a new community. I was the new pastor's kid in town. And so in middle school and high school, you know, I began to backslide. I began to care so much about what other people thought of me and really looked to them to tell me who I was.

But it didn't take long because of the foundation that I was raised with to become disillusioned, you know, with what I was seeing around me and with the things that my friends were doing. And so when I went to college, I actually rededicated my life to Christ. I got involved in campus ministry and really began to grow.

I had a boyfriend back home at the time, and I began to share with him, you know, what God was doing in my life and how I was growing. As he listened to me, he made the decision to also pray to receive Jesus. [00:03:30]

He would say now that at that time his motivation might have been a little bit mixed. He also didn't want to lose me. He has said, "I don't know if I was really pursuing God or you." But I took that as my green light to move ahead with the relationship.

So we actually got married at the ripe old age of 19, feeling so grown up. But as I look back, I mean, we were so young. We moved to a new city and began to get plugged in. We joined a great church. I was really hungry to continue to grow in my faith.

Every once in a while I would notice some sort of what seemed like a dark internal struggle going on with him. I would ask him about it, ask him if he was okay, and he would just say something like, "Oh, yeah, I was stressed out at work" or "Yeah, I'm fine." [00:04:36] I wanted to believe that he was okay, and so I did.

After about two years of marriage, the Lord began to reveal what was going on. One day I went to get the mail and was just looking through our mail, and I noticed this bill from a real sort of generic-looking company. And so I thought, oh, I'll have to ask my husband what this is, and continued to sort mail.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, no, no, open it up. So I went back to that envelope and I opened it up. And I still didn't know what it was because it was still real generic. And so I thought, "Okay, I'll ask him about it when he gets home." I heard the voice of the Lord again say, "No, call the company. You need to know what this is." [00:05:27] So I went into our apartment, I called the company, and I was devastated to find out that it was an adult phone line or a phone sex company.

I confronted my husband when he got home. At first, he wanted to deny it but then admitted that he'd been struggling with pornography and struggling with making these phone calls. And I was mortified. I didn't understand. I didn't understand, you know, why would you want something like that when you have me? We'd been married two years. We were still kind of newlyweds.

I didn't understand but came to understand that this hadn't been just an occasional thing. This hadn't been something that went on a few times. That this was an addiction. This was in the 90s, and the internet was still fairly new. [00:06:34] And this was something that wasn't talked about as much as it is now. But this was an addiction that had deep roots, that had gone actually... I eventually found out beyond magazines, beyond phone calls. But I was soon to find out that it had actually moved into infidelity.

I didn't understand but came to understand later that it really didn't have a lot to do with me but that there was a void in his life that he was trying to fill with all of this stuff. And it was really a void that only God could fill.

I was devastated. I wanted to wish it away. I wanted a quick fix. I wanted to slap a Band-Aid on it and move forward. I thought, "Maybe let's just get in the Bible. Let's talk to so and so. But you can't slap a Band-Aid on something, on a wound that is rotting from the inside out." And so we moved forward. [00:07:46]

We went for a while trying to reach out for different forms of help. Things would seem to be okay for a while but then... this being exposed was really God's pursuit of my husband. The Lord loves us so much. I think He'll give us windows of time where if there is something going on with us that we're keeping in the darkness, I believe that He will give us a period of time to bring it into the light. But then if we don't, in His great love for us, he will allow it to be exposed.

This happened over and over where we would be going along thinking things were getting better, but my husband was still not being honest. So, God, in his love for me and in his pursuit of my husband, would allow it to be exposed. [00:08:43]

We were separated different times throughout our marriage. I was mortified to find out that at one point he had been ticketed for solicitation of prostitution. In the community where we lived, they actually published this in the paper. So any sort of mask that I wanted to wear around people or any sort of impression that I wanted to give that we had our acts together was kind of taken away.

It was so beautiful because God really used that to deal with me in the areas of pride and humility, in areas where I also wanted to keep things in darkness and under the rug and not be transparent with people. I became so desperate during this period of time in my life that I began to cry out to God. [00:09:47] I began to say, "God, my entire life, people have told me that you're enough, that you're all that I need. And God, I know that in my head. God, I kind of know it in my heart. But God, I need to know from the very depths of my being that You are who You say You are, that You are enough.

And so as hard as this season in my life was, it was beautiful because, you know, God says, draw near to me and I will draw near to you. I began to learn intimacy with Him. I began to learn what that really looked like. And I began to know Him in a deeper way. Yet, as I said, as hard as it was, there was a lot of beauty in that time as well, because He is so beautiful. [00:10:43]

In a season of our life where we thought that things were... you know, I thought, I guess, that things were going better and that maybe this issue was behind us, we found out we were pregnant and we had our first daughter, McKenna, who's so beautiful.

I remember at night getting up in the middle of the night and rocking her. I really didn't know lullabies, but I would sing songs that I knew. So I would sing, you know, you are so beautiful to me. You are so beautiful to me. You're everything I hoped for. I remember one night being up in her room, just rocking her and then just hearing the Lord sing over me, "Jennifer, you're so beautiful to me." He's so good in the middle of our painful circumstances.

We went on for years and years. [00:11:44] I didn't believe in divorce. I knew that that was not God's ultimate plan for marriage. And so I went for years just praying and hoping and believing and going through periods of time where I would think, Okay, this is getting better, and they might seem to be for a while, but then God would continue to bring things into the light in my husband's life when he wasn't being transparent.

And it finally got to the point where I saw somebody who is deeply loved by God with the destiny in God that I agree with. So buy into the lies of the enemy and therefore stay in bondage to them that it cost us our marriage. I finally realized, you know, our home has to be safe and healthy. And he wasn't being transparent. And I've got children. So we separated and our marriage eventually ended in divorce.

It wasn't what I had hoped for. It wasn't what I dreamed of on my wedding day but it happened. I walked my children through the pain of that and then began to live as a single mom for a period of time. [00:13:08]

Laura Dugger: Thank you for sharing so transparently what happened. I'm wondering if someone is in the midst of this right now. And it's just so helpful to hear your story shared with them. I do have a few follow-up questions when we go back. How long was it before either you or your husband said this out loud to another person? Was it when it was published in the newspaper?

Jennifer Roush: The initial struggles before that happened, it was actually pretty quick with a few people. We did talk to our pastor right away. We did see a counselor pretty early on. I would say I didn't fully understand the fullness of what was happening when we began to talk about it. It was probably initially more me just wanting, you know, this to go away and wanting it fixed. [00:14:13] But we did have people in our life that we did talk to fairly early on. And then obviously when it was made public, everybody knew at that point.

Laura Dugger: And as you were seeking counsel from others, who was the first one to be able to identify and share, this is an addiction?

Jennifer Roush: I think it was our first counselor. I think he had a deeper understanding of what was going on pretty quickly because of his line of work. But I didn't. It was hard for me to believe that my husband was an addict. You know, because pornography, it is like a drug addiction, but the signs are different. They don't have marks on their arms or they don't pass out or things that are real obvious. It's a little more insidious than that. And so it took me a while to get my mind around it.

Laura Dugger: And what were a few of those signs that God really used to bring some of this into the light? [00:15:17]

Jennifer Roush: After walking through this for a while, I could begin to identify, you know, when something was going on. I would say, first of all, lack of intimacy between the two of us. When he would begin to push me away, lack of concentration. I think he had a hard time focusing when he was really using a lot. Those were some telltale signs. Money issues, because a lot of this does cost money. And so when suddenly money was missing, that was also a sign.

Laura Dugger: I think that's really helpful. And as painful as it is to recall, I think that's really practical for someone who's having these same questions. And I just appreciate how you were so in tune walking with the Holy Spirit that you knew when God was nudging you to just go a little bit further, ask another question.

Jennifer Roush: Yes.

Laura Dugger: Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.

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Laura Dugger: How did you process through your own journey of bitterness and eventually forgiveness?

Jennifer Roush: There were so many different things that God used. As I grew in intimacy with God, He began to deal with things in my life as well. When we look to Him, we become like Him, and things that aren't like Him have to go.

First of all, God really began to deal with control issues in my life. He began to show me how much I wanted control of things, and really, I was in a situation that was out of my control. He began to deal with my heart and teach me just to trust Him.

He began to deal with the issue of forgiveness. I knew that He called us to forgive. I knew that if I held on to unforgiveness, that it would only hurt me, but man, I wrestled with that. I wrestled with it. [00:18:39]

I remember my husband in a season where he seemed to be doing better, he was a musician, and so he was with a worship team from our church. And one night, they had gone into a prison to do some ministry, and he was playing drums.

While he was there, two prostitutes that he had known apparently were incarcerated. He came home and told me about it, and it was tough. It was tough because the Lord began to show me how not only was I dealing with unforgiveness for my husband, but that I hadn't even really considered the other side of the story, and was I willing to forgive these women.

While they were there ministering, I was told that they had actually accepted the Lord. I wasn't happy about it. I was thinking in my mind, I don't want to go to heaven with them. [00:19:42] One night, a couple weeks after that, we were downtown, we had some other friends who were having a service in an inner city church, and the Lord was continuing to deal with my heart regarding these women.

So finally, I was just praying, and I said, "God, I know that you've called me to forgive. I know that you died on the cross for all of us. But God, these women slept with my husband." And I heard the Lord, in His very non-condemning way, say back to me, "And Jennifer, your sins killed my son." And it wasn't condemning. He was just reminding me of the love and the mercy that I had received.

You know, you always hear people say that if you were the only person in the world, that Christ would have died for you. [00:20:47] But something else that we need to consider is that if you were the only person in the world, He still would have had to die. So that was sort of the beginning, I think, of Him healing my heart and growing me in forgiveness.

He also began to deal with my pride. I had a friend one time say, "Jennifer, your marriage reminds me of Hosea and Gomer. And you know how Hosea was the faithful spouse, and Gomer was the prostitute that kept cheating and coming back and cheating and coming back." I remember kind of thinking, yeah, like I see what you're saying. Until one day the Lord told me, He said, "Jennifer, you're not Hosea. I'm Hosea. I'm the faithful one. You are also unfaithful to me. You've also been unfaithful."

So that's kind of how the Lord stepped me through a lot of those things. You know, it really comes out of that intimate relationship with Him and just knowing Him and knowing His heart. [00:21:52] And then in the process, allowing Him to strip away the things that would hold us captive.

My pastor would always say that "don't let sin against you cause sin in you". And I think that's really key.

Laura Dugger: Wow. The magnitude of all of that is so powerful, just especially what the Lord said about what all of us have done to His Son. But your intimacy with the Lord, I'm hearing this obedience and that you're sensitive to Him and you're learning from your pastor. What else did intimacy with the Lord look like? Were there certain spiritual practices that you had in place?

Jennifer Roush: Yeah, that's a great question. Really, yes, I would spend time in His Word. That's key, obviously, to grow in our understanding and our knowledge of who He is. [00:22:52] I would spend a lot of time in prayer as well, just getting in His presence, praying, listening for His voice. I'd spend time in worship and even just on my own, just playing songs that spoke to my heart.

And then also being connected to the body of Christ is incredibly important because we refine one another because God uses other people oftentimes to reflect His heart. So all of those things are important. I would say more than anything, it was getting alone with Him and opening myself up and just letting Him have access to any place He wanted to go.

Laura Dugger: It just makes me think of the song we so often sing at church, just, I surrender all. It sounds like you got before Him in solitude and surrendered everything and He's worked in miraculous ways. But this has been a long journey. [00:23:55]

An added layer to this story is having young daughters, like you mentioned. So as this process went on, how did you share with your then 7- and 10-year-old daughters about your husband's sex addiction and what was their response?

Jennifer Roush: I was very aware, I think, and protective of their hearts. And because I knew of my own struggles with unforgiveness and control and pride and bitterness and all of that, I really prayed and just sought wisdom on how to walk them through something so difficult.

So, first and foremost, when I told them that we were getting a divorce, it's hard at 7 and 10 to, first of all, talk about the issues at hand, to talk about pornography. I mean, they were pretty innocent. But the first thing that I did was I told them in the presence of their children's pastor, who they loved, and my parents. I thought it was really important for them to feel surrounded by people that loved them. [00:25:07]

So it wasn't just mom saying this and maybe dad saying something else, but they had a community around them. They had godly, loving men who were coming alongside them. What we initially told them, because they really didn't understand sex or that sort of thing at those ages, was that there are promises that you make when you get married, and our pastor talked to them about how dad loves you and God loves him. He didn't keep those promises. That was the best way that we could explain it initially.

As the girls got a little older, God began to just show me, you know, when the appropriate time was to give them more information. And it wasn't too long after that. My oldest was in middle school. And I could just begin to tell that the weight of not knowing more was getting a lot for her. [00:26:09] And you really have to be careful because kids in their own minds can begin to imagine things that aren't true and even blame themselves.

So one day I just came home from work early and I really felt like, Okay, we've got to talk in more depth now. She walked home from school, came in the house, and I said, "Honey, I need to talk to you more about what happened between your dad and I." And it was hard. She knew that it would be difficult.

But we went in her room and... I didn't quite know how to start. I said, "Do you know what pornography is?" And she said no, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I said, "Well, I said, do you know what sex is?" And she's like, "Well, kind of, you know, like we've talked a little bit about it and they talked about it a little bit at school." [00:27:12]

So I said, "Okay," I said, "Pornography are images that can be on the computer, magazines, different places. They're images that are really, really immodest and inappropriate." And we talked about how people can become addicted to that like a drug. All of a sudden, she looked at me and she goes, "Mom, you mean like in the movie Fireproof?" I had to think back to that movie. I thought, "Oh, yeah, like in the movie Fireproof." And so I was glad she had a point of reference.

And then we did talk a little bit about the infidelity as well. I couched it in love, in trying to express God's heart for her dad. But I also felt like it was important for her in those young teenage years to really understand that you don't get divorced over something minor or... not that any of that was minor, but that marriage is so valuable and so worth fighting for. [00:28:24] And so I didn't want to minimize anything either.

So we talked about it. At first, she wanted to comfort me, which I had already been through quite a bit of healing and it was real sweet. But then she started to cry and she said, "Mom, I just feel like a bunch of chains just came off of me." And I was so thankful that she said that because it's vulnerable to talk to your kids about these things. And you can think as a parent, "Is this the right time? Am I saying this the right way?" But I think her not knowing was holding her in more bondage and she needed to know the truth. So it was a really precious time.

Laura Dugger: Wow. Looking back then, what parenting decisions would you say you're grateful you made?

Jennifer Roush: I would say just being real conscientious about pursuing the girl's heart, just like God pursues our hearts. [00:29:27] And so just really checking in with them, not wanting to sweep anything under the rug, processing with them forgiveness, taking them through prayers of forgiveness and all of that.

I think continuing to stay real connected to the body of Christ and providing opportunity for godly men to be in their life and just speaking so much about how men are a blessing. I really didn't want any bitter roots springing up, you know. I think also talking to them about, you've been through some things with your dad, but you have a good Father. You have a good, perfect, heavenly Father, and He is here for you to meet your needs.

And this was not his heart for you to walk through this, but He works all things for good. And so He's going to use this in your life. You're going to have so many other kids that go through the pain of divorce, and you're going to be able to come alongside them in understanding. [00:30:42] You're going to be able to encourage them because it's a path that you've walked in.

I think it was really important for them to understand how God can take our painful things and use them for good in our life. And it was really cool because, I don't know, a year or two after our divorce, there was a family in our church with six kids, and unfortunately, their parents were walking through divorce. And so the kids were up in Sunday school, and our children's pastor that day, they were praying for these kids, and he had my daughter come up and pray for them. And I just loved that because it was just a tangible example of what we had been talking about.

It's hard. I mean, there's no way around it. It's hard to walk your kids through something like this, but I think you just keep pointing them to God and get a good community around them, and that's the best that you can do. [00:31:46]

Laura Dugger: Thanks to our friend Joy, thesavvysauce.com has been completely updated. And if you follow The Savvy Sauce on social media, you're already aware that we launched a new tab on January 1st titled Articles. I hope you check out these new savvy snacks, which are articles full of quick tips for intentional living. Check out these articles today or join our email list to have them directly delivered to your inbox. Enjoy!

Jennifer, it sounds like community is so important to you, and wisely so, that you also instill that in your daughters. So as you reflect on your healing process, what was the most helpful and most harmful thing from your community during that time?

Jennifer Roush: I think the most helpful thing was just having friends around me that would encourage me, that would pray with me, that would remind me of who I am in Christ, regardless of what was going on around me. [00:32:54] Friends that would just show up. I think the hardest thing... sometimes you might know somebody going through something really difficult, maybe like what I went through, and it can feel awkward. It can feel like, I don't know what to say. I don't know what they need.

And so sometimes we can find ourselves wanting maybe to distance ourselves a little bit, not because we don't care, but just because we're not sure what to do or what to say. But when I experienced that, it could feel really isolating and really discouraging.

I think the best thing that you can do, even if you don't know exactly what to do or say, is just to be there. Just to say, I'm praying for you. I'm so thankful for the friends that would have us over for dinner. Me, a single mom with two little kids, but they would still just bring us into their home and allow my girls to be part of that. [00:34:00] And so that was just wonderful.

So I think just staying connected. I remember when our divorce was final, I had a friend hear about it and she didn't really know what to say, but she just marched straight over to my house, walked through the back kitchen door, and just into my kitchen and just hugged me. And it's just powerful. So, yeah, sometimes when I talk about those things, I feel the emotions of that time.

So that's what I would say is just be there, just show up, just give a word of encouragement. And don't worry if you don't know the perfect thing to say or do, just be there.

Laura Dugger: And as you're sharing, I'm experiencing some emotion as well. And I think what it is, stories like your friend coming in, that was an act that was prompted in love. [00:35:00] And I think that's always so compelling because it does reflect Christ's love for us.

Do you have any encouragement that you would like to share with a spouse who is currently married to someone who is in the midst of dealing with a sexual addiction?

Jennifer Roush: The first thing that I want to say is I just want to speak hope to them. First and foremost, your hope is in Christ and He has good plans for your life, regardless of the current situation around you. But part of me being on this journey is that I have so many relationships with different couples that have also been through this struggle. And I've seen so many come out on the other side, healed and whole. So just know that God is for you, that He is for your spouse.

I always say that in Christ, there is so much hope and there is so much freedom to choose. [00:36:00] But I want to tell you that just because you're in this battle, it doesn't mean that your marriage is going to end in divorce. You just keep turning to Him, keep trusting Him. He is good and His goodness will be made manifest in your life.

Laura Dugger: That's a good word. Now, will you catch us up on the current pages of your story?

Jennifer Roush: Sure. Yes. So I was a single mom for about five years, and in the summer of 2013, I met my now husband, Troy. He was living about an hour north of us and we met. He had been through, honestly, some similar pain in his previous marriage that I had been through. So we connected and we got married in May of 2014. And he's a godly man. [00:37:05]

It took me a while. It took me some years of healing. And then even coming to the realization that, yeah, I would, I would like to probably be married again. He has two girls. We both came to the marriage with two girls and have walked through some of the challenges of blended families. But I'll tell you, he is such a loving stepdad to my two daughters and they love him. It's been incredibly healing for our family. So we've just really been in a season of God making things new.

In 2012, I began to work in the pro-life world. I'm a nurse. That is what I have my degree in. I actually got a job managing a network of pro-life clinics. It was amazing because every day I was seeing girls with an unplanned pregnancy or patients that were coming in who needed testing for STDs. [00:38:17] And it was a place where not only could I give them the medical treatment that they needed, but also have opportunity to share my faith and to share the gospel.

It's amazing how God works because for so long, you know, that whole area of sexuality was just so broken in my life. There was so much sexual brokenness. But as God healed me... you know, the Bible says he has taken captivity captive. And so those things that the enemy wants to use to hold us captive, the Lord actually comes in, when we allow Him into our lives, and takes those things and actually uses them for His kingdom.

So here I was, this person who had walked through all of this sexual brokenness. And now every single day I was sitting with these young adults who were walking through sexual brokenness and the Lord was allowing me to minister to them. [00:39:19] That was an amazing season.

Now He's kind of taken it to the next place. And so currently I am the executive director of the Speravita Institute. We are an organization that trains clinics and centers like the one I worked in around the country and even internationally to just multiply this work. God's just so good. I mean, he works all things for good in our lives.

Laura Dugger: Amen to that. I just love hearing how God is bringing your story full circle, even in the work that you're doing today. So thank you for sharing.

Jennifer Roush: Yes.

Laura Dugger: Well, Jennifer, you may already know that we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?

Jennifer Roush: I would just say pursue knowing God. [00:40:20] That is an eternal pursuit. There is always more to know. I mean, we will spend eternity with God, I think, just continuing to reveal new aspects of who He is to us. So as we know Him, we also then come to know who we are, right?

Once we know who He is, we're better able to see who He made us to be and better able then to look at others through His lens and walk in who He called us to be and fulfill the purpose in our life. That's kind of the drumbeat, I guess, of my life, is just to go deeper in knowing my Father.

Laura Dugger: And in that pursuit of knowing your father, it is so apparent how you're becoming more like Christ. And I just experience Christ through you. It reminds me this morning, I was reading in Philippians 4, and specifically in verse 5, when it says, "Let your gentle spirit be known to all people." The Amplified version says that gentle spirit is your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience. [00:41:41]

I definitely experienced all of those through you today. Not only does it say, let your gentle spirit be known to all people, but the verse concludes with this: the Lord is near. So Jennifer, thank you for living that out. And thank you so much for sharing your story with us and being my guest today. It was an honor to host you.

Jennifer Roush: Thank you. Yes, it was an honor to be your guest and I really enjoyed it.

Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.

This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. [00:42:45] We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.

This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.

We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. [00:43:47] Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.

At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.

Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. [00:44:49]

We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce

Practical chats for intentional living

A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.

They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!